Officially a Trainee

I got home earlier than hubby today. Difficult airways in both a.m. + arvo list. A.m. list was the gynae list, difficult intubation. Boss & I tried 4x, akhirnye masuk. Arvo list was the ortho list, my favourite, difficult because of the error in respiratory circuit of the anaesthetic machine. Even more difficult when u haf a difficult ventilation in an elderly lady with BMI of 40.
Sedih dan nak abis anaesthetic rotation. Damn HR cut my anaesthetic rotation by 3wks.. thats 3 wks worth of airways + spinal anaesthetics + art-lines. And.. entah ngapa aku rasa cam refreshing je ari tu on call buat respiratory job, ward job, kerja yg aku nyampah selama ni.

Anyways, got this big letter from ACEM, Australasian College For Emergency Medicine. Its saying I'm officially a trainee of the college. Ada la papers about the training, what required of us trainees, the assessment structure outline, etc. Aku blom abis baca sumer tu pon. Balik kerja tadi ngantuk plak, sejuk bangat!!

The Online Training Assessment page.. fuh!

Alhamdulillah I'm in the Emergency medicine training. Am I excited? Dont know. Aku bersyukur I'm in a training for further career & professional development. Aku bersyukur aku ada kerja next year. But I sorta have this dilemma about my career path semenjak dulu, especially now sejak buat anaesthetics. Betul ke aku nak buat ED ni? Apsal aku terasa cam nak reconsider balik surgical job, or paediatrics, or radiology, or anaesthetics, or even physician? Huhuhuhu...

Ticks for ED:
- flexible lifestyle, good for female docs, starting now. While other specialties u'll get comfortable when u r a consultant. Ni tak termasuk GPs. Hehehehe.
- variety in things u see everyday.
- u learn new things everyday.
- multiskill.
- fresh first hand patients.
- no strings attached in ur patient management; no clinics, no follow ups.
- quick investigations + their results.
- kena pandai in all coz u take the most papers in ur exams either in primary or final exams (even though 2 of them not too in depth like anaesthetics exams).
- lively ED, so u dont get lonely.

Minus points for ED:
- most other docs (kecuali GPs) memandang hina kat ED. ED docs bodo la kononnye, diorang je pandai... Sob sob sob... tercalar jiwa aku yg narcissistic ni...
- if u hafta work weekends night u boleh sakit jiwa.
- banyak issues in ED stem out from this stoopid government policy that involves funding to the healthcare system especially the ED, hence affecting ED management & all. Disebabkan issues bodo ni la lebih lagi docs tak suka ED =(( ... "Dengarlah rayuan jiwaaaaa... kami tak bersaaalaaaahhhh..."
- menyampah dgn rubbish patients in ED, plus those who have unrealistic expectations on ED, plus rubbish referrals from GPs.
- $$$ takde la sehebat specialists lain, tapi boleh la hidup.
- when u become a consultant, u worry not about the ED patients but also ur colleagues, the department itself, funding from government, funding from government, funding from government, funding from government... and so on. While other specialties, they worry about their patients and how to get more $$ into their pockets so to say..
- if you work in ED aaaalll the time, sometimes ur motivation can go down a bit coz of the points above & also coz u feel like u r missing out on learning other things in other specialties.

Banyak lagi aku rasa points for pros & cons of ED training. Dulu aku rasa tak sabar2 masuk training ED ni. Semenjak dua menjak ni.. aku terasa jiwa aku kacau sket in pursuing my career in this. Plus aku still rasa nak study menda lain like engineering or some studies in business/ management.
Susah hati aku now...