Masa mula-mula tu rasa cam wah.. tepu la jugak rasa coz busy manjang. Hari ni dah masuk minggu ke-4. Looking back in the past 3 weeks aku rasa cam bagus gak training ni tersusun & intense. Baru la training namanye. Ye la training mana yg tak busy, kalau training surgery & Obs&Gynae lagi busy la kot.
InsyaAllah, kalau aku betul-betul dedicated I will get there =) (aku ni sejak jadi tua ni jarang optimistic, la ni baru nak find my grounds).
Rabu lepas meeting with my supervisor for the last term. Masa dia tanya ada apa-apa ke aku nak komen pasal ICU term tu, maka terjadilah drama air mata kat situ. I was holding it inside for sooooo long, about the work bully & how I was depressed in ICU. Seriously si mamat timurtengah tu has really left a big impact on my life. Aku kasi tau boss aku tu yg sepanjang ICU term aku depressed, sampai ada nightmares & sampai aku tak study for ICU coz I was so depressed. I was stressed jugak buat anaesthetics dulu but I made the effort to actually sit & study. Not so in ICU.
I'm glad that the ICU boss tu was very supportive. Dia tanya aku apa nak buat dlm hal ni, & aku cakap yg aku tak nak berdepan dgn mamat senget tu at the moment. And dia nak discuss dgn the head of ICU about this. Dia cakap yg dia akan discuss jugak dgn mamat senget tu in 2 days time, tapi will be kept confidential.
On Friday, lepas dia cakap dgn si senget tu, he came & checked on me kat ED. Malu la jugak coz masa tu memang aku takde mood & tengah termenung depan computer. Terharu pon ada. Dia cakap sebenarnye ada lagi org lain komplen pasal dia, tapi dia kata will be kept confidential just like my case. Dia tanya aku, aku nak ke resolve this with that senget guy. Aku cakap tak nak coz knowing how he was masa dia suka-suka bully aku tu, I dont think that the discussion will be fruitful, silap-silap muka aku ni makan penampar dia berdasarkan perangai kasar dia masa kat ICU tu.
Aku rasa lega that finally dapat la jugak kasitau kat big boss about this. Boss aku tu cakap aku patutnye cakap awal-awal masa rotation tu, tapi aku cakap aku tak nak cause friction masa kerja. Boss aku tu cakap yg mebbie next time bila dah nak ada issue cam gitu cepat-cepat get help, sebab nanti aku gak yg rugi. And mebbie next year mintak lagi rotation ICU, and aku setuju provided that the senget guy wont be there when I'm there lah.
Thursday petang hari tu ada airway workshop, a combo of ICU-ED-Anaesthetics workshop on intubation/ managing airways. Best. I think I have to build up more muscles la coz 1 of the patung yg dia kasi tu..grr.. keras semacam takleh intubate langsung. Sakit my left arms. Seb baik si sengal tu takde.
Oh ye, Friday arvo aku kerja. Nyampah habis. Ada certain big bosses yg malas, and anggap sejak aku jadi registrar ni aku patut tau semua menda. Ada la jugak along the way yg aku rasa aku terkureng ajar gak dgn some bosses yg aku tak puas hati dgn management diorang on patients. Seb baik aku ada back up senior registrars yg kamcheng dgn aku.
Weekends tak buat apa-apa. Saturday gi rumah Dr. HAK coz celebrate besday YL. Aku gi kejap je coz ada study group dgn Dr. BB plak. Sunday, tried as much as possible to study my APLS course, tak start apa-apa pon, course tu plak on the 4th of March ni.
Dinner & bekal gi kerja minggu ni, combination of:
Mee hoon goreng with crab balls
2 comments:
dear, mesti rasa lega kan dah cakap kat yr bos pasal mamat senget tu.. hilang satu masalah, i doakan moga u tak perlu berdepan dengan org yg gitu lagi.. tenang2 k.. take care laling..
tu la lady, lega la jugak. tapi lepas tu segan i dgn dia. dah la slama ni dia cam biasa-biasa je dgn i or usik2 i kerja coz kadang2 i bengong gak. ni tetiba terluahkan perasaan la plak. haha. malu je tadi gi kerja dia ada.
nwys, lega kiranye dah selesai. but this experience kiranye makes me stronger la sket sket.
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