All the very best, my beloved brothers =)

Just got back from Shepparton where Dr. MJ has his rotation at the moment. Such a beautiful country town, even tho its still chilly, mebbie more than Melbourne, but still bright & sunny. Way way way better than Traralgon & Wallan (uhuk uhuk, of course, definitely, etc), definitely better than Warragul, and better than Sale, Ballarat, Swan Hill, Yarram, Kerang, Morwell, Moe, Trafalgar, dan those towns in between yg aku dah pernah pegi.

Will jot down more in my next entry about the weekend trip.

Anyways, my brother H3 is having his final A-Level exams starting tomorrow. This will determine whether he goes to the U.K. or Au or even the local uni's. He already received a conditional offer for 2 universities in the U.K. (brilliant, H3! well done!!). I dun mind him getting which ever, even tho like most families, of course I want him to be close to me. If gi U.K. plak, we get the chance to travel there, InsyaAllah, one day. But, whatever it is, he has to excel his exams first, then, nak pilih2 mana tu blakang kira la kan. Oh well, another family member is branching out of us all :(

My other brother H2 is doing his final year project & will be facing final year exams soon as well. I doakan he aces them excellent & get an excellent job that suits him afta that. My youngest brother H4 is also facing his UPSR soonish. I doakan he strikes it brilliant.

This is one of my reasons that I dont think its a good idea to balik M'sia for a bit during my week off this rotation. Even tho I miss my family terribly :(

So here my doa & wish for all of them, hugs & kisses:

Dear H1, H2, H3,
Dont be scared of these battles,
All ur sweat & effort will come to one,
InsyaAllah, dengan berkat Allah swt,
U will go through this with ease,
And Allah swt alwiz gives u strength to face it all,
Dont forget ur gratitude to Him,
And dont forget that we all pray for u, alwiz,
Love u for who u are,
And for whatever it is the pathway that's written for u,
Take care alwiz, be calm,
And ace it all.
InsyaAllah,
Love u alwiz,
Kak Long.

Kiddies... a whole new world... errk!!

Eheh.. dah seminggu gua in the paeds rotation. Seminggu jugakla gua terasa bangang semacam. Kids are just like adults, they have their own world, both medicine & surgery. Macam adults jugak, diorang ada sakit jantung, renal failure, masalah liver, diabetes, mcm2 lagi la. Its like learning a whole lot new things all over again. Memang betul la gua rasa bangang abis sepanjang 2 minggu ni.

Pening kepala kat special care nursery or time delivery tu, when they need the paeds resident to be present just in case nak kena resuscitate the newborn. Panic gua. They are sooo tiny!! Then, tension gua bila dgr kanak2 ni nangis non-stop coz of pain, bila nak masuk drip, bila examination, mcm2 lagi la. Setiap kali ward round, mesti terasa cam bodo je.

Paediatrics ni best la jugak coz past history mereka ni tak byk songeh. Simple & easy.. provided aku tau my medicine. Masalahnye tak tau, coz like I sed b4, memang this is truly a new world to me, last time I ever knew anything about paeds was during 4th Yr Medicine! Haru betul.

Jadi paeds resident tak la sesenang mana. Kena sentiasa bersedia utk berlari ke theatre or maternity ward kalau ada difficult labour/ emergency C-section. Kena bijak hal2 neonates ni. The place where I'm working we paeds ppl hafta cover adults medicine as well... all those complex patients under Gastroenterology (termasuk those who tak sedar diri keep on drinking alcohol even tho dah nak mati with their end stage liver failure & all of them ada hep C +ve & impossible veins coz of IVDU), Nephrology (again, termasuk jugak org2 yg tak sedar diri jugak keep on isap rokok, tak compliant, tak jaga blood pressure, tak jaga sugar, tak jaga makan even tho dah end stage renal failure & on haemodialysis), Endocrinology, Infectious Disease & Respiratory (again, termasuk those yg tak sedar diri keep on isap rokok even tho COAD yg teruk, basically lung failure). Hehehehhee.. sedap je aku ni ngutuk mereka.

Dari segi timetable, aku rasa ok la jugak. Aku tak kisah shift work. Minggu lepas aku kerja pagi, minggu ni kerja arvo shift, minggu depan shift malam, then cuti byk hari b4 kerja pagi balik. From my observation sejak start balik kerja awal thn dulu, I find that I am more tired bila kerja shift pagi coz busy pagi2 then balik dah penat lelah. Pas tu kena bgn awal balik. At least shift mlm & arvo bleh rehat byk2 before ada sth happens.

Kisah neonates plak: I feel hopeless coz tak tau nak buat apa. Nasib baik my bosses are so nice & sabar je dgn kitorang yg baru dlm paeds ni. Diorang la tunjuk ajar apa nak buat utk menyelamatkan budak2 ni. The first month of life is the most challenging period in life. Once they pass that stage, insyaAllah everything will go okay.

Kanak2 yg ada surgical condition senang je. Once kuar dp surgery & pass the recovery period, diorang terus sihat. Bleh dah lompat sana sini cam monyet. Kanak2 yg ada psychiatric condition tu yg susah sket tu. Byk betul in patient coz of overdose. Mcm2 overdose diorang ni.. overdose alcohol, paracetamol, antipsychotic... ntah apa2. Most of them sampai rosak some bodily organs coz of their overdose. Ada tu violent enuf, sampai parents diorang kena buat interventional order against them. Most of these kids memang bahaya tahap penjenayah. They are scary, their friends are scary. Fuh! Yes byk factors yg contributing to these probs, and I do understand why all these happen. Tapi sometimes aku rasa cam kami docs are cursed; dah la kena amik tax byk gila, gov budget takde provision utk healthcare/ditarik balik, docs welfare tak dijaga PLUS kena jaga org2 yg merugikan resources yg better spent for ppl who well deserve these. Mcm2 issue. Boleh botak gua!

Adohai.. tapi tu lah. Gua dpt cuti beberapa hari before starting night shifts nanti. So, aku harap aku merajin2kan diri baca buku paeds tu so that tak terasa cam bodo je bila start balik. Sambil2 tu kena la buat menda2 suri rumah yg masih menimbun dan menda2 penting lain yg tertangguh coz kami busy (alasan!).

Anyways, tomorrow going for a road trip up north to visit Dr. MJ kat Shepparton sana. Kesian dia di whoop whoop. Hahahhaha.

Happy Mothers' Day

Happy Mothers' Day to my beloved mum
a.k.a. Your Majesty Mak

This is kinda late on the blog posting but in my family, I'm the second to wish her that, after my 2nd youngest brother, H3. Dia tu dah wish & kasi prezi last week lagi. Giler semangat.

Like alwiz, celebrating anything, selain dp Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Hari Raya Aidiladha, memang kurang disambut dgn gahnye di dlm my family. Ni termasuk la harijadi/hari ibu/hari bapa/valentine's/ etc. Kami sejak kecik dah diasuh to appreciate & love each other regardless. We r taught to alwiz help each other with anything & at the same time to alwiz come back to each other if we r in need of anything. Family first, up or down.

Sejak dulu lagi, if ada rezeki lebih, kami akan get each other things. Like all my brothers, I alwiz get stuff from my parents regardless its my b'day or not. Same goes to my parents, we siblings will get them anything yg kami mampu tak kira masa kalau kami mampu, even tho diorang slalu menolak (mebbie sebab kesian anak2 & segan kot). Therefore, besday or lepas perform dlm exams ke or hari2 special lain yg ditanda oleh masyarakat majmuk pada kalendar, memang tak berapa big deal in our lives (mebbie masa kecik2 aku ada kot ngada2 nak itu-ini sebab tgk tv or jeles member2 lain dpt sth). So, kalau tak dpt hadiah masa besday memang tak kisah sgt coz hari2 lain memang dah dpt pun, whether kami tak malu mintak or not.

Cuma semenjak beberapa kebelakangan ni je yg sometimes some members of my family tetiba plak lebih ke arah materialistic menyambut hari2 ni. Especially dua org adik2ku yg ntah apa2 tu, si H3 & si H4. To me, again its not a big deal. Nak celebrate pun seronok gak, join the fun, lagi best to spice up my kinda-boring life here, especially kalau ada $$$ lebih sket utk disedekahkan ke kedai2.

It is to me menda2 ni lebih kurang mcm Western culture a bit where they celebrate all these that include budaya kasi hadiah & a really big deal to them kalau dilupakan. Sampai merajuk bagai. On the other hand, it is kinda fun kalau kita yg dpt sth & kalau ada rezeki lebih utk kasi kat org. And I have to admit, some ppl really appreciate ppl in their lives tapi ala-ala malu gitu nak show all the time, so hari2 special ni mungkin dicreate to encourage these ppl to show their gratitude to these special ppl in their lives. Kasi can.

Well, whateva it is pandangan & amalan masyarakat majmuk semua, to me there's nuthing wrong in spending a bit of time, energy or $ to those special ones in our lives on those special days marked on the calendar. And it is even better if we show them that we love & appreciate them on other days of the calendar too. At the same time, those ppl yg didedikasikan ucapan2/hadiah2 spesel tu hafta show their appreciation in return to those yg dah berpenat-lelah membanting tenaga, masa & $ utk diorang jugak. Dan tidak merajuk kalau tak dpt apa2. Bersyukur sebab Allah swt masih kasi peluang utk kita to have them in our lives.

Anyways, to all mums in the world, happy mothers' day. It is the toughest title & position in the universe. Well done, u r the best.

*especially ucapan utk kenalan2ku, mak-mak dara ni:
D= bakal ibu :)
TTM= congratulations, comel & touching bila gua baca pasal anak2 u. they r soooo sweeet.
Ly.= ur gem is sooooo sweet, even tho he is a shy boy dia berjaya go against his shyness to do all that. u r very lucky :)
Not to forget, MakLong & Auntie N (D's mum)= Happy Mothers' Day. I thank Allah swt for giving me the chance to kno ur kids & family :)

To mum-in-law, this is the only thing that I would like to thank u, thank u for giving me my beloved hubby.

To my mum,
thank you,
there's no word or amount of money in the world to show how much I really appreciate u.

I thank Allah swt for giving u all the strength & patience to have me since in vitro 'til now & forever. I thank Allah swt to have u in my life.
Even if I dont say it out loud all the time or not much of hugs and holding hands when we walk together, but I really do love u.
Millions of apology if I ever hurt u, I kno I have (memang masa tu bangang & tak sedar diri). I doa for you alwiz all the very best in life, InsyaAllah.
Thank you for having me in ur life.
Love u lots.

frosty sunnie..

nice sunny day outside, but alas its cold. i'm thankful to Allah swt that its still sunny despite this cold weather.

was sick last night & had to miss work. really bad migraine that made me throw up multiple times. huhuhu... so sad. i alwiz feel sad after vomiting, i think everyone does. slept all the time coz couldnt do anything, couldnt eat, couldnt drink, couldnt read, couldnt even look at anything coz the light was killing me. such a waste of time being sick. if i wasnt, at least i could have tried revising my barely-there paeds (plus renal, endo, respi, gastro ) knowledge. (heh, ye la tu, cita-cita besar sungguh)

it's May, that month of the year. it my month =)

i'm supposed to be happy that May has finally come. many things are happening at this moment of time. lembu-lembu bersama-sama langau-langaunye contaminating this lovely month. it will mark the month forever, causing such heartache if i choose to remember it... yes, thats right, if i choose to remember today as it is. its hard but i hafta. the game of mind is alwiz difficult.
hate it that May here is always chilly & gloomy with only occasional sunlight, and it will always be. bleh..

today will continue for a few days, at least until lembu-lembu tu blah. huhuhu...

may Allah swt give me strength to face the day and beyond. i'm not going to pray for all these to disappear, if this is what's written for me, but i pray that i have the strength & patience to face life. i'm not as strong as i want me to be...

so much to do.. which one today... guitar heroes, rayman, samurai, or still mario kart? aaahh.. those paeds book keep on staring at me. but i want to finish the story book that i've started last week, still on chapter 1. nak baca mags yg aku curik from the ward tu lagi (seb baik dah disinfect dgn avagard..hehehhe). those laundry too, and those letters & papers piling up on the floor in the living room AND the rooms. stop staring at me, damn it, piles!) then my heroes & without a trace series. mebbie i should go to my veggie pots. haaiii... i so wanted to have a bite on the home made lemonade & banana split at pancake parlour.

mmm... lucky i've ironed all my work attire for next week. oh, i'm due for my fortnightly mini-spa/facials. hehehhehe.. later tonite lah.

so much for my whinging bout...

anyho, going to Mordialloc to visit TTM & family this arvo. my buyung fren's mum is here for a visit before leaving to Adeleide next week. (jangan marah Dr. D. ehhehehehehehe.. ceria-ceria selalu). going to make some meat pies. nyaaammm.. tapi mana bleh lawan dgn TTM nyer masakan. ahaks =D *winks*

til then... huhuhuhuhahahhahahahahahuhuhuhuhu....