Hari ni separuh-separuh

Tadi janji nak tido dah. Sambung balik tulis. Tak kira. Nak luahkan jugak hal hari ni. Tahan jap mata ok, hati sebu ni nak citer jugak.

Hari ni memang kepala & hati aku sakit sangat dgn nurses yg tak significant semua tu.
Seriously racist!! Boleh je diorang hempas2 file kat aku, cakap pon jerit2. Dah la mintak aku buat menda bukan2. Ada je menda nak kasi aku panas hati. Bodoh. Tu je la perkataan yg kuar dari mulut aku. Seb baik member2 aku di kalangan org2 M'sia yg study & sambung training kat sini ada buat rotation yg sama gak. And these doctors je la yg paham bila aku ckp bodoh berulang-kali sorang2 tadi. Si rakyat jelata yg tak bijak langsung semua tu boleh la buat kat aku cam tu coz tak suka la tu kat aku yg org luar ni, esp. aku pakai tudung. Ketahuilah wahai rakyat hulu, doctors di kalangan kamu pon tak hingin nak berbakti kat kawasan sengal kamu tu.

Hidup aku memang penuh dengan warna-warni, ups & down dalam kitaran yg sangat laju. In a matter of hours, it can be exciting, it can be draining, it can be very challenging, and then it will be blissful the next minute. Hari ni separuh-separuh.

Dalam banyak2 kesengalan manusia2 kat spital tadi, medical records belanja aku a large decaf latte. Tak sangka plak. Diorang mintak aku tolong clarify things yg the previous docs buat utk discharge summaries. Selalunye HMOs memang terpaksa buat jugak bila dah kena panggil cam tu. Kira cam kena mengajar orang utk coding la ni, which aku slalu malas nak pegi coz these other patients bukan aku tau pon so cam mana nak explain the diseases kat admin kan. Diorang pon satu slow sangat nak buat coding, so by that time kalau nak tanya kat the docs, they have already moved on to their next rotations. Anyways, dipendekkan cerita, they insisted on belanja aku coffee for the clarification session. Terpaksa aku terima.. hahahhaa. That made my day =)

Seperti biasa, driving back home from work is getting more challenging nowadays. Mungkin aku dah tua. Its getting harder to actually pay attention on the road coz aku akan sangat penat by that time. Most of the time driving back aku akan rasa keawang-awangan. Bahaya kan.

I was planning to go to Chadstone to get some groceries. Tak sangka plak matahari memancar dgn bestnye kat luar. I noticed I had to actually take my cardigan off coz panas dlm spital. Pagi tadi sejuk sangat, aku pakai berlapis-lapis coz slalunye tpt2 ulu ni sejuk than kat city/ or the main hospital. Dalam kereta terpaksa pasang aircond coz aku dah panas sangat.. baju tebal.

Didnt actually plan to eat dinner there. But I got that idea bila tengok matahari kat luar sana. So aku ajak hubby balik awal, walaupon ada nada-nada keberatan dlm suara dia masa aku call tu. He came straight from work to Chaddy. Aku cam kelentong dia kata I needed help in carrying the goceries coz berat. Hehehe. But we went straight to have dinner kat Reactor, makan pasta & pizza. Sedap! Ingat nak makan luar since matahari masih memancar, tapi maklum la Aussie ni sumer tutup awal. Most kedai now tutup at 5-6pm. Kat city je some restaurants tutup late night. Dah peak summer nanti baru nak tutup kedai 1 jam lambat.

Lepas dinner baru kami gi Coles to get my much needed Up & Go, bekalan wajib aku gi kerja setiap hari. Ada offer, so pulun la banyak2. Benda tu berat, so kena la ada tenaga lelaki waja tolong angkatkan gi kereta =P
Kelakarkan, balik ke rumah naik kereta lain-lain. Hubby drove his car, and I was in my car. Ye la, masing2 came straight from work.

Things that make me happy afta work =)

Things that make me happy, keep me sane, after work:

- having a good day at work.. yg ni mcm susah je nak dapat if purely cruizy day, slalunye campur2 & its up to me nak layan ke tak.

- seeing the sunshine after work =) sangat best. Kalau night shift, a bad night could actually feel better in the end bila nampak cahaya matahari memancar ikut tingkap ED tu. And terasa rugi kena tido afta that coz there's the sun out there. Tapi kalau shift evening tu takleh nak tolong la kan, slalu balik pon around midnight or later. Kalau day shift, kalau balik awal & hubby pon balik awal, sangat seronok dapat go for a walk with him enjoying the sun & the serenity it brings.

- driving on a half-busy road (tak nak la kosong sangat jalan tu) on a fast enuf speed limit.. minimum kena 80kmh. Kalau kurang dari tu rasa ngantuk sangat.. huhuhu.. Aku rasa aku masih bertahan kerja kat spital sengal ni coz most jalanraya aku kena drive 80kmh & 100kmh. Best, menyegarkan. =D

- seeing the people I love at home, even though sekejap. That, I know I'm not alone in this world. Aku semakin rasa my time with my loved ones semakin kurang.... Depressed gila masa kat whoop whoop dulu. Dah la tak jumpa hubby/friends, apatah lagi my family kat M'sia tu. Tangkap nagis woooo.

- getting to eat with the people I love. Like the dinner we had kat Chaddy tadi, even tho tak sesedap food in M'sia, but I cherish each & every bit of it. That dinner made me very happy. Love u hubby. To me eating is a social event, it almost feels like its not a responsibility to myself anymore. No wonder masa aku kat rural sana dulu, aku sangat cengkung like a walking skeleton. I didnt see the need to eat.

- getting to manage my 'restaurant' on FB. Hehehehe.. yg ni wajib! Satu-satunye timeout yg aku rasa perlu utk loosening up my tired brain =) Korang tak caya, cuba la layan gerai makanan tu. =)

- melayari laman beauty, skin, female stuff, yahoo u.s/u.k front page. Suka tengok gambar je. Malas nak baca tulisan yg berjela2 & kecik2 tu. Hahaha. (Tapi aku rajin plak bebel kat blog sendiri kan..)

- if I have enuf energy physically & mentally to actually do my studying after work. Yg ni very refreshing. Cuma aku dah jarang buat lately coz entahlah... penat yg teramat + jiwa kacau sangat2.

- and lastly but not least, most importantly, knowing that I'm still alive, still have a functioning brain, a good health, have a place to come home to, knowing my loved ones are safe & sound, still have the opportunity untuk menikmati kurniaan Allah swt... alhamdulillah =)

Panjang lagi list ni. Lain kali aku update =)
Time to tido.

Di sebalik hutan sana...

Ni karangan aku semalam while waiting to finish the shift at 830pm.

Sunday, 17^th October 2010.

At work, while waiting for the overnight person to come for a hand over of shift. Sedar tak sedar dah nak abis pon weekend shift ni. 2 days of working from 7lebih until 8lebih... Haaiii...

Memang aku menyampah gila kerja on the weekends kalau kat spital yg ala-ala ulu ni. I have been lucky in the past 2 years where kalau aku kerja weekends pon alwiz kat the mother hospital, where still there’s some support system kalau ada apa2 yg tak diingini berlaku kat patients. Memang busy gila berbanding dgn spital kampung cam gini, tapi at least there's alwiz support, whether it be learning or professional development or emotional support. Aku je yg suka komplen sebab busy & pasal nurses yg kureng bijak kat wards. Skang ni terpaksa plak cover spital lain yg hampes ni. The week after tomorrow even tak best coz kerja malam for 2 wks kat lagi satu spital yg lebih sengal. Itu la kerjaya HR, they have the power to control people's lives... terasa cam haiwan kat farm terpaksa la buat apa saja yg dijadualkan, walaupon secara tertulisnye apa yg diorang buat tu not legal.. but yet, doctors never get the workers' rights or the human rights yg dilaung-laungkan org tu.

Monday hari tu masa start kerja malam kat spital senget ni, aaiisshhh, memang tak best. Aku ni memang jenis yg cepat rasa tertekan kalau tercampak kat tempat yg takde orang, gelap gelita & senyap sunyi. Pendek kata, kalau aku kena kerja kat rural area where its excruciatingly quite & slow, memang aku rasa aku akan ada code blue in my brain. The memories kerja kat whoop whoop dulu memang quickly creeping back at me sejak start sini Monday ari tu. Ye aku memang tak suka kerja kat spital kampong di Australia ni.

Hari ini, Monday, 18th Oct 2010.

Seb baik the other teams dah datang balik. Senang sket nak jaga sumer patients yg ada pelbagai medical & social issues. Aku punye mood ok sket hari ni coz dah ramai org. Still aku tak suka kerja sini. Kerja sedikit okay than the night & the weekends, but still crap. Bersyukur jugak coz sejak aku kerja sini, ramai member2 dari hospital lama tu ada buat rotation kat sini, & jumpa new other docs, mostly my junior or the IMGs.

Terus-terang aku cakap, aku tak suka the ambience kat sini. Terasa aura ke-racismnye kat sini, esp. dari misi-misi kat sini. Walaupon tak semua, aku seriously terasa sebu bila kena berurusan dgn diorang. Aku pernah ckp dulu kat my other posts earlier... suasana kerja kat sini.. kalau kau new, pompuan, orang asing.. memang strike 3 lah oleh nurses/some patients & their families.

Hai... bila dah stress setiap hari cam gini, makin banyak la aku amik caffeine... hafta watch out nih.. kang hangus otak aku. Seb baik dah tua (sikit je!), dah blaja sket cam mana nak mask the stressed symptoms. Kengkawan baik kat tpt kerja je bleh baca muka aku kalau aku stressed masa kat spital. Eh, tapi, rasa cam setiap hari je aku buat muka kan... hahahaha.. takde lah. Still kena control ayu walau apa pun situationnye... menten doctor cun =P ahaks... (apa aku merepek ni..)

Ramai org kata the job I'll be doing in the next 2wks lebih merana (nights covering satu hospital kat lagi satu spital sengal tu). Aduhai... Aku cuma mampu doa setiap hari sebelum tido & bila bangun nak kerja so that kerja aku dipermudahkan & aku diberi kekuatan olehNYA menghadapi segala circumstances at work nanti. Kumpul doa/ zikir banyak2...

cartoon tribute to www.CartoonStock.com

Agak cuak

Haaa... menggelabah kau! Dapat phone call from the real estate agent kata nak buat routine inspection on the house. Katanye dah lama tak buat. Sini kalau rumah renting tu, memang slalu agent buat inspection (ikut agent jugak). Kena la jaga gak kan, rumah org. Aku yg tgh sibuk renovate restoran aku kat FB nun terkejut beruk la jugak. Terus lari ke shower, then lepas tu terus kemas apa yg patut. Baru 1/10 kemas tetiba datang si minah agent ni. Aiseh, tadi dia kata sebelum kol 12pm, tu haaa tetiba kol 1030am dia datang. Seb baik aku sempat mandi. Kelam-kabut gak aku, ye la dgn rumah yg sepah cam apa je, pas tu aku plak masak pagi tadi (tetiba rajin nak masak awal), adduuuuiii...
Selalu rumah kitorang kemas bila diorang kata nak ada inspection. Tapi kali ni kantoi la plak. Masa dia tanya dapat ke tak surat inspection, aku haaa je la, tak sempat nak fikir. Now dia dah balik baru aku ingat dia hantar surat sebelum kami balik M'sia hari tu. Aishhh.. Seb baik la dia cuma tegur sket2 je, pasal garden yg dah macam hutan belantara tu & some bits & pieces yg kecik. Agak2 dia paham la kot kami 'baru' balik from overseas holiday tu. Hehehehe...

Anyways, aku bangun awal gila hari ni, around 4+am. Terasa cam I had some interupted sleep last night. Rasanye pasal terlebih chocolates from last night visit to Lindt cafe tu. Aku rasa cam aku terjaga every 1/2hour je. Hubby pon bgn awal, tapi around 6am coz he had to go to this breakfast meeting at RMIT. Aku just temankan dia minum coffee before he left at 630am. Ye la, bukan slalu dapat breakie dgn hubby/ family. Teringat masa makan sorang2 masa aku kerja kat whoopwhoop dulu... selama 1 1/2 thn dok makan sorang2.. sedih wooooo...

Aku tetiba rasa rajin nak masak plak, so masak je la my femes chicken soup (aauuuwww), malam karang takyah susah2 nak masak dah. Esok kerja so mlm ni bleh la rehat2 sket (or study2 sket).
Tengah-tengah masak tu, masa tgh berdiri mengadap tv, adoohaaaiii la, I twisted my back.. again.. 3 days in a row dah ni. GIla sakit. Aku dok kat kerusi urut Shiatsu tu so ok sket la blakang aku ni. Tapi still some terrible pain going thru my legs each time I move. So imagine la masa aku tgh kelam-kelibut kemas apa yg patut lepas dapat that phone call from the agent. Aiiyooo.. so now rasa penat saaaangaaat... nak nap jap.
Harap2 malam karang bleh lat tido, esok nak kena bgn awal nih.. long shift both Saturday & Sunday (bodo kan sapa yg buat timetable ni?!)