Watched movie 'Premonition' on channel 10 by myself (coz hubby is in Sydney with the boys for Top Gear). 2nd time watched it, 1st time was wit hubby at the cinema. Sedih... reminds of me of appreciate the love that u have & keep fighting for the best of 'us'. Bukan nak kata selama ni tak hargai kasih-sayang sumer org, tapi ye la, manusia, memang selalu lupa diri. Masa first time tgk movie ni aku nangis, sama cam masa tgk movie 'P.S..I Love You'.
Hari ni berlalu dgn sia-sia mostly. Lepas hantar hubby kat airport, ingat nak lepak dgn Ly. kat city. Malang sungguh nasibku.. fon mati while at the airport lagi. Dah janji dgn Ly. nak jumpa kat Melbourne Central sana. Tapi ye la, without a fon & my brain is useless nak ingat no. fon orang lain, payah sangat. Aku gi lepak2 kat Myer & Melbourne Central, a few hours gak, in the hope to bump dgn Ly. Tapi ye la, dgn juta-juta manusia gi situ & masing-masing pon bergerak, so tak jumpa la mereka. Kalau aku bleh stopkan masa cam kuasa Piper dlm Charmed, bleh la kot aku go thru the whole Melbourne Central tu then start balik masa bila dah sampai depan mata Ly. Last2 aku pon putus asa & headed back home lepas dah rayau-rayau berjam2 kat situ. Ish ish ish...
Oh ye, dlm sia-sia hidup hari ni, aku nyopping retail therapy some foundation & eye colour nak pakai gi kerja. I just realized that most eye colours that I have are utk gi jalan-jalan. Kalau pakai gi kerja jadi obvious sangat.. malu lah.. tak nak jadi cam those nurses yg kaki mekap tu. Aku nak sederhana je, sekadar sedap mata memandang. Kakakakakaka...
Hmm... cakap pasal retail therapy tu.. slalunye aku akan 'ter' retail therapy kalau stress or happy gila (or apa-apa pon). It has been a stressful week for me.. tapi tak tau la apa ke bendanye yg aku dok stress sangat2 tu. Bipolar II affective disorder kot.. as in depression + hypomania, as oppose to depression + mania in Bipolar I affective disorder. ke PD? Mebbie aku need lithium kot, or any other mood stabiliser. Erk.. apa pasal aku dok ckp pasal psych ni. Yucks!.
Anyways, memang my mood tak brapa stabil semenjak hal logo kereta aku kena kopak hari tu. Taik betul the thief! Cacat kereta aku, abis bercalar-balar. Also stressing out about me making a fool of myself on FB coz marah sgt kat thief (idiot! hafta work on my anger issues more). Dalam byk2 nasihat suruh aku sabar tu, ada jugak terselit kata sapa suruh park kat situ. Well, in a way ye la kot aku tak hati-hati, tapi aku kinda marah gak coz what the heck is wrong with the world? Soooo.. pencuri yg haram tu tak salah langsung la ye? Regardless where u park nowadays, they will continue to do it.. so still salah kita ke? Kiranye dia boleh la curi itu-ini ye? Pencuri tu tak salah la ye? Hah? Hah? Hah?
Huh... dah call Mazda service centre Monday hari tu, hopefully aku akan dpt replacement soon.
Pas tu on Tuesday.. kereta hubby kena hentam from behind.. this stuck up filthy rich pompuan who was driving her dad's BMW X5 & already had 2 accidents during the week. Haram betul! Kesian hubby. Seb baik the pakcik nak pay for the damage thru his insurance company. Well, kalau nak diikutkan, since he's a property developer, sepatutnye dia ganti that piece of junk with a totally new car! Simply coz anak pompuan hangusan dia tu dah caused an unnecessary stress to hubby (and me), and coz hubby deserves a new car under his own name (and tak harapkan The Berhormats to post the car rego to our place every single year). Poor hubby. Semalam surat insurance company pakcik tu sampai. So harap2 the fixing tu settle cepat.
Oh ye, cakap pasal retail therapy lagi, and aku tak pasti apa ke bendanye yg aku dok stress sangat2 tu, selain dp hal kereta. Mebbie the house. The most appalling are the fresh clean/dry clothes piling up waiting to be folded and the semak-samun kat luar tu yg minta ditebas. Seems like both of us dont really care about the house. Both of us only buat minimal especially bila masing2 stressing out about something. Hubby is always in front of the computer & sometimes tertido on the couch. Same goes with me. I am always in front of the computer, or kadang-kadang in the kitchen buat sepah lagi or kadang-kadang trying to read (ending up reading mags/caatalogues instead). What is wrong with us ?!?! Dah 2 bulan pass by in the new year. Apa dah jadi dgn our (or rather my) new year's resolution yg buat hari tu? Benci lah.. malu dgn diri sendiri! Rasa cam hidup tak berguna je dgn rumah cam gini. Walaupon rumah ni cam kotak mancis, aku rasa aku patut try to make it livable.
Work wise, its been a smooth sailing week for me in the Emergency Department. Alhamdulillah. Aku kerja morning shifts sepanjang minggu. Orang tak ramai, bagus gila. Menda2 bodoh yg datang pon kurang. Mebbie coz tak ramai patients. Socially pon best gak coz ramai docs yg best. Semalam, as in Friday, best gila. Aku settlekan hal2 kat short stay unit by midday, then melepak the rest of the day, satu patient pon aku tak pick from the box. What an amazing day... Ada sorang ED Consultant yg pemalas ni kami dok ignore all the time. Masa aku buat ED last year aku ingat dia nak gi UK dah, dalam diam memang aku mengharapkan dia dah blah bila aku start ED again this time. Tapi malangnye dia ada. Ish.. aku harap dia akan blah cepat or aku takyah report to her directly ever sepanjang rotation ni. Tak supportive langsung. Anyways, mornings memang best, as well as weekday nights sometimes. I hate arvo shifts & weekend nights. Next week aku buat weekend nights. Huaarrghhh! Benci gila.
Oh, I just realized that now aku kerja shift again, I wont be having regular breakie & dinner & weekends with hubby again, like when I was doing psychiatry last rotation (one good thing about psych). Tak bestnye... tapi bila fikir balik.. it makes us cherish the time we have together even more. I am kinda happier in ED now, tapi takde la happy mana pon, coz aku pon kengkadang dah bosan with the whole idea of being a doctor.. sometimes...
Dalam terasa hidup sia-sia hari ni, I had a good rest in the arvo. Aku tau aku tak sepatutnye tido petang coz I definitely akan susah tido malam.. (like wat I'm doing now, dah nearly 3a.m.). Biasa la, kekecewaan mmg best diubati dgn tido. Janji nak kemas rumah ntah ke mana, nak study ntah ke mana. Oh, called my brother, H3, yg kini berada di UK. Best dapat ckp dgn dia, lama dah tak ckp. It brightened my day (or saki-baki hari).. it always brightens my day afta dpt talk to or jumpa family or close frens.
Valentine's day esok ni. Tapi like alwiz we dont celebrate that day. Its tooo over-rated & tooo hyped. Bosan. Love should be celebrated every single day of the year. Valentine's day is just another day of the year...
Got a few days off until kerja a.m. then straight to nights. Tahun ni takleh jadi cam tahun lepas, tak bleh menjalar lagi. Kena bangun dari tido & be more responsible to self & all. Kena hidup lebih organized. Especially umur dah bertambah, plus bosses dah suruh amik exams this year (takutnyeee!). So hopefully aku akan tertido akhirnye & bangun untuk menempuhi hari dengan lebih bermakna... (lepas amik hubby from the airport).
Night...
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