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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Abis dah...

Entah ngapa aku rasa cam gelisah/ sedih plak nak abis psychiatry rotation. Esok adalah hari terakhir di psychiatric ward, merangkap penghabisan rotation of the year, merangkap penghabisan tahun HMO2 ku. Alhamdulillah.. semuanye dah tamat seperti yg aku harap2kan selama ni. Alhamdulillah.. berjaya mengabiskan HMO2 General Year & melangkah ke alam baru HMO3, alam yg lebih mencabar minda & harap2nye aku will enjoy this new year more.

Tapi like I sed, aku rasa cam resah gelisah plak esok hari penghabisan tahun 2009/2010. Ini bermakna aku kena try abiskan hutang2 kerja aku yg tak sempat diabiskan masa rotation ni. Also kena prepare some stoopid report for the Mental Health Hearing Board that will happen in 2wks time even tho I wont be there.. huh! Also kena prepare the lengthy handover sheet to the new doc, if ada a new doc to replace me (memandangkan mental health admin kedekut even to replace a HMO & a consultant yg MIA at the moment). Ye la, manyak gila new patients & they are in their early or mid way management plan, meaning gila banyak kerja to be done for each one of them. Huhuhu....
Otherwise, the team has been sooo good to me & I hafta admit that apart from all my tantrums & hissy fits, I have enjoyed time bermalas-malasan (a.k.a. being dumber) masa buat rotation ni. Eleheeeeiii....tantrums aku tu pon pasal inefficiency, stoopidity & incompetence some people kat mental health ni. So kira valid la sumer aku nyer drama tu. Oh ye, I definitely wont miss the ward work, and the paperwork yg bodo2 tu. Even tho deep inside, if only I had a little bit of interest in the ward work, I would have been a superb doc for the ward.
Hhhehehehe... narcissistic sungguh. Best gak kadang2 carry folders/ diary around to organize ur day schedule, rasa cam nampak professional.

I kinda sad that berakhirnye tahun ni bermakna some of kawan2 doctors yg aku dah jumpa & enjoyed working with sepanjang tahun ni juga akan berpindah ke tempat baru mereka. ED docs, paediatric docs, orthopaedic docs, some of the interns, registrars, etc. Being in the psych ward has made me a little isolated from the main physical medicine people, so I kinda feel sad tak sempat nak catch up dgn diorang before they leave. Esok last day of the year, so tak mungkin la sempat kot nak catch up lagi. Malam ni Khamis malam, maknanye jugak ramai of them having farewell dinner mana2 with their own team. & aku plak dok rumah main FB, internet. (Which I dun really mind coz aku mmg malas nak kuar pon).
Tak tau la docs baru nanti best cam diorang2 ni ke tak. Harap2nye diorang ni bagus & baik.

I dropped by kat ED masa on call Sunday hari tu. One of my former bosses was there, & also some of the nurses that I worked with last time. They looked glad when I told them that I was coming back to ED next week (so I think.. heheheheheh). The boss was like tanya aku bertubi-tubi.. so amik exam September ke, baik amik cepat, pegi daftar cepat with the college, kena study, pas tu bleh buat reg job, etc.. waaahhh... betubi-tubi nye. Takut aku. Tak sangka diorang trust me that much. Boleh ke aku ni jadi ED reg? Boleh ke aku ni amik exam that soon? It feels like having to study the whole 5years of medicine in this very little time! Huhuhuhuhu... Little do they know that I kinda dun really care about my career at the moment & only work coz nak duit je. Dengan semangat aku skang, aku tak rasa aku bleh past the exam, the 4 papers & clinical exams, kalau amik this year. Takut seh!
Entah la.. mebbie coz at the moment aku kinda bosan with life & work. Mana tau masa dah start ED balik terus mania ke.. hahahaha.. elevated coz suka sangat. Harap2 my colleagues kat ED pon best nanti.

The ward has organised a farewell tea party for me, another consultant & one of the nurses tomorrow. I bought this cookie cake (..again) for them. Mahal sket la. Tapi they have been nice & have supported me all through out the rotation, especially when I was in my shit-ty mood swings (walaupon mostly pasal diorang jugak). Terharu jugak bila dpt tau ramai yg nak bawak good food tomorrow. I bought these giant Toblerones for the 3 bosses that I've worked with, satu dah kasi hari ni coz hari ni last day dia. The HMOs aku dah kasi last week lagi. Sorang kasi diary 2010 coz dia akan buat ward job this coming year & dia suka diary. Sorang lagi aku kasi baju baby Pumpkin Patch coz dia akan ke C-section end of the month, ni yg aku kata malas sket tu.. hhehehheeh.. oops! (Memang best kan jadi kawan aku.. hahahahahahhahahaahhahah... oops.. narcissistic lagi.. PD sungguh!)

Hmm... harap2 esok tak brapa busy & tak brapa bodo for everyone..
I hope that the closure for the rotation will be at least smooth, if its not gonna be easy.. and harap2 mood aku stable & content & composed kalau ada apa2 hal yg hampas esok... hehehehee...

G'nite :)

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