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Friday, May 29, 2009

That feeling...

I really am missing my family at this moment. Tgh takde mood. Tgh bungkus myself in bed. The sun is bright outside & its making me more miserable.. I wish I was in M'sia.

Sepanjang perjalanan from work abis my last nite of the cycle tadi, I couldnt pay attention on the road. Ntah apa2 je drive, seb baik tak accident. Mebbie penat, mebbie stress, mebbie first step approaching delirium tak cukup oxygen & glucose. Whatever it is, gua memang takde mood sangat2 ni. I wish there was a pintu suka hati doraemon so that I could go back to my family this very minute. =(

I have been having these thoughts for quite sometime now.. in fact its been for soooo many years that I've lost tract of it already. Thinking about these is making me insane...

I've missed so many years being with my family..
I've missed so many great moments with them..
What if I've missed those times when they actually in the dumps, & I was supposed to be there..
I know I have..
I've missed seeing my brothers grow to become different, better persons each day.. all I see on their faces during those very short moments is the child in them..
and I havent been there to walk through the journey with them..
I've missed growing old & wiser with my parents.. all I see on their faces during those very short moments together is the lines of life drawn on their faces..
and I havent been there to walk through the journey with them..
What if I've missed knowing each of them at all..
I know I have..
I've missed them in my life.. in my own journey through this world..
But going through this ever challenging walk of life..
I see their hands with me..
I see them in me..
May I swim through this with their strength.. insyaAllah...
My beloved family.. miles away yet dekat di hati...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Treasures From Loved Ones... Thank You Gazillions


Baru ni la aku dpt menayang menda2 yg aku dpt & aku splurged on sempena harijadi aku. Kerja mlm yg bengong tu memang kasi aku konpius, ala-ala delirius gitu. Takde la dpt byk mana dari segi materialistiknye, but I'm more than happy, ecstatic sebab of the thought and ada jugak celebration (sket2 je) considering that umur dah meningkat kan, nombor umur tu pon tak best. Nomber tarikh je best. =)

Anyways, ni menda2 nye =)

My splurge on my b'day right afta the very dumb nite shift:
A double layer cookie cake from Mrs. Fields (Top layer: tripple chocs cookie. Bottom layer: macadamia & choc cookie).


Splurge gila jugak. Boxes of chocolates including toblerones. Cita-cita besau nak yg 4.5kg toblerone besau tu tapi sure tak larat nak angkat. Badan dah sakit2 lepas stoopid nite shift:



The card that I got on the very day of my bday, from lovely Malaysia, found in my mailbox, balik rumah from Chaddy (love u guys lots.. muaaahhsss):



The card I got from hubby, muaaaahhhssss, placed on top of my macho lappie when I got home + tix back to M'sia in July 09 (hugs + love):



Yesterday got this from 2 of my dearest friends in Adelaide, mak buyung Dr. D & hubby Dr. Sh ;) thanks lots u guys, I'm ecstatic, u guys r superb :x:x:x


Hehehe.. dont worry about my other pembaziran. Like I sed before, I just get what I want when I have the money & terasa nak beli, macam gila je. So now dah takde idea nak apa for my birthday. I dont think it was such a bad thing to have to work on my birthday. Everyone has to do that somehow. The way a fren of mine put it, there must be other worse things that could happen on ur birthday. E.g. motor-vehicle accidents, sakit teruk, trapped in a fire, trapped kena kidnap, trapped in a fire, trapped tgh2 ocean coz kapal karam, kena rompak, hanyut kat sungai besar penuh buaya & ular beracun, kena buang negara, blablabla... or mati masa tgh lupa Allah swt & tak sempat nak taubat.. ish... nauzubillah...

I'm just grateful to Allah swt to be alive, with all the ones I care for around me & there r people who care about me out there. I'm grateful for the rezeki yg ada for me & the loved ones. I pray for life for all of us & ever. Amin.

Kerja gila afta Nite shift =P

Ni bukan sekali dua aku buat kerja gila ni, bleh dikatakan byk kali, lain2 tu afta shift2 siang yg let me buang masa & duit kat kedai yg masih bukak. Kedai kat Melbourne takleh harap sket, semua tutup awal, except on Thursday & Friday at 9pm, tu pun kat kawasan metropolitan.

Kali ni aku gi Chaddy afta work, last nite was my 7th nite of 8. I've stopped counting my nite shifts now.
Bosan. Anyways, bought a pair of boots at Myer. I was thinking about buying a pair of boots sejak mlm tadi, ntah ngapa tiba2 gila.

Also went to buy lotsa lotsa sushi & sashimi coz cravings. Terasa nak beli lagi other stuff but kinda tired already.

Kelmarin bought a cookie cake for my bday. Nyamm.

Ni style aku gi kerja mlm tadi, minus the boots. I pakai ugg boots je gi kerja. Sooo comfy. ehhehee.


Anyways, time for me to sleepp. Huaaarrgghhh.

Monday, May 25, 2009

25th May is a beautiful date =)

Had to work last nite.. and when the only shift that I would appreciate a cruizy one.. was actually like hell. So shitty. Non-stop. Seb baik sempat makan sahur.

On the way back stopped by at Chaddy, mana la tau ada menda2 nak splurge on, even tho I dont think I want or need anything much atm considering that I'm going back to M'sia for a quick holiday (thanks hubby for the plane tix... muaaahhhss!!).. except for a house in M'sia & here, and also a new car. hahahhaa... takdelah.. takde idea wat I want atm.. mebbie coz letih kerja tadi kot, otak dah jem kena tido. I browsed thru the jacket dept, ada tu cun gila, the coolest winter coat ever tapi takde size la plak. adoh.. then jalan2 gi tpt handbags, beauty & skincare, gadgets, tapi still my brain blank tak tau nak splurge on wat.

Dengan hampanye aku gi la beli sayur2an utk masak mlm nanti (takde idea nak masak apa.. tibai je beli). Then gua pegi la ke kedai chocolate & sambar a few boxes of chocies utk kutelan mlm nanti. Takde choc yg best, bantai je la apa yg ada. I would expect a giant box of maltesers ke, m&ms ke.. some dark choc with nuts (thats the key.. I love chocs, but not all, suka yg ada kacang, doesnt matter dark or milk.. & tak suka white choc at all). Ada je toblerone 4.5kg besar meja tu, tapi nanti tak larat nak angkat.

Kerja gila yg aku buat next was.... bought a double cookie-cake fr Ms Fields cookie stand just for myself nak tibai buka puasa nanti. Cute sgt cookie-cake tu, it costs me quite a something, but I dont really care. Puas hati beb!! hehehehee... YES!! Kena amik kol 5 nanti. Aiseh. kena bgn awal la nampaknye.

Its time for me to tidoooo...

alhamdulillah, aku masih bernafas, and for life & everyone in my life aku bersyukur kehadratmu ya Allah swt, berilahku kekuatan menhadapi hari2 seterusnya... amin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, gua dah bgn. Tak cukup tido. Huhuhuhuhu. 4 hours only!!! Tak cukup langsung! My ideal tido time is alwiz between 8-10hours... rahsia kulit muda remaja. Anyways, got my cookie-cake. SOOOOO yummy. I think I can just eat it for dinner tomorrow nite.
Got my birthday card from beloved family in M'sia, right the very morning of my birthday, in the letterbox :X:X:X Then got another birthday card from beloved hubby right on top of my macho lappie :) :X:X:X Love u.
Spent a few moment replying to FB's, emails & fon messages before getting ready to work again.
Thank you gazillions loved ones & teman2. Hugs.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Babies =)

It was such a dumb night. So so so busy. I want to continue whinging, but mebbie some other time. Things that held me back last night was the ever complex renal patients, multiple admissions, special care nursery for neonates, emergency appendicitis & induced-come-emergency-C-section. The whole night shift is probably better than when I was doing surgical nights. Not so much on dumb calls from the nurses, it just the whole science behind the medicine I'm covering is very professionally & intellectually challenging. It drives me nuts for not knowing, but it also a some sort of drive for me to learn more.

Oh, coming back from work I had my bad nausea again.. dont get me wrong, its only my stoopid gastritis, am taking esomeprazole for it. I'm not pregnant. I think its playing up recently due to me drinking soda too much, stress & not eating that well. What a terrible feeling, seb baik tak muntah dlm kereta tadi.

Anyhow... thats not the thing that I wanted to babble about here.

For the first time since I started paeds, I picked up a healthy clean days old term baby. Selalunye its either straight from the womb or sick newborns in the special care. & selalunye that kinda turn me off to have my own baby at the moment. But last nite was different. I actually picked up a clean one, a dry one, a healthy newborn. And the amazing thing is, it happened out of my own willingness.

I was hanging around the maternity ward due to the call for an emergency instrumental delivery on an induced of pregnancy of a post-term mum, a primi. (This one went to C-section afterwards due to failure to progress & prolonged ruptured of membrane). Since waiting for a delivery takes aaagess anyways, I sorta lepak panicking myself coz in the middle of early a.m, by myself, blablabla. Then I heard this cry from the nursing station closeby. Very soft cry. I was kinda interested to have a look.. & there it was, a baby boy at the back of the room next to a loud radio, where the midwives lepak2 usually.

So I picked him up. He's a fair sized baby boy, quite besar dlm 3.3kg, just came to this world that arvo. Berat. Hehehhee. An Asian baby boy with the most beautiful big eyes I've every seen. The face is just the right size & round. He stopped crying when I picked him up. Coomeeeelllll!!!

I couldnt stop myself from stroking the cheeks. I wanted to feel how soft the skin was, apart from wanting to see the root & sucking reflex (when u stroke the cheek, it will turn head towards the stroked cheek, when u touch the lips, it will try to suck). Soooo soofffftt!!! Terharu! Then he looked at me, of course he didnt smile (first few weeks of life babies' smiles are purposeless, simply muscles twitching & no emotional meaning). But by just looking at the face was sorta soothing, all my panicking & tiredness of non-stop the whole nite sorta melted away... Wow! Comel. Terasa nak curi. Gerammm!!

Then I played with the fingers. Soo tiny. So soft. And there's the grasp reflex (they will grasp ur finger when u touch the palm), doesnt matter that, but I kinda felt the connection. Huhuhu.. comelnyeee. Geram. Comelnye pipi dia. Soooo gebu. He's a well behaved young man. Aaahhh.. terjatuh cinta. I think I'm going clucky.

I stayed with him for about half an hour before running to the theater. Couldnt stop looking & touching him. I knew I was not allowed to kiss him, but I did, just to say goodbye. I was quite sad to put him down back in the cot. He didnt cry of course, just comfy sucking on to his fingers. (Again its a way for newborn to release stress.. get everything into their mouth/ tummy.. mesti dia stress aku kena pegi.. ahaks.. but baby, I'm not ur mummy... unless kalau aku curi dia). Huhuhuhuuuu.... comel.

I sorta realized that I'm getting clucky. Maybe. At least some part of me. The other parts kno that I've got sooo much going on & to settle at the moment. But that part of cluckiness, its kinda real. Maybe I am ready. I sorta want to have a baby of my own with hubby, my darah daging. It must be an amazing extraordinary experience from the very start of getting preggie to the moment the baby is on ur chest afta labour. Aaahh... comelnye baby tadi tu. Then reality hit me despite of that part of me being clucky... leceh mengandung & sakit bersalin & leceh post bersalin. And mcm2 hal from the morning sickness, kureng selesa masa dah buyot, night wake ups, to when baby's unwell, to the $$$ invloved. Maybe I'm not quite ready yet ready.

Or maybe I am. If I curi one of the good babies. =)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Goldburn Valley trip 1

Hari ni baru nak citer pasal last weekend trip gi up north, Shepparton in Goldburn Valley, bersama hubby visiting Dr. MJ, who is having his rotation there. Jet lag berhari2, now baru clear sket. :p

Di pagi yg cerah tu kami pun bertolak, bwk baju2 sejuk + selimut2 tebal + heater since Dr. MJ awal2 dah kasitau mlm can be very chilly & spital tak provide doona/ heater in the bedrooms. Some munchies & 100+ cans so that ada energy supply for us. Kami drive kereta kiutku just so we could take turns, since perjalanannye sgt la jauh dlm ~210+/-km, mcm pegi ke Sale in Central Gippsland down south. It was such a beautiful day with lotsa sunlight. We stopped twice for toilet & coffee. We passed those areas that were affected by the bushfire in Feb 09, quite eerie actually lookng at those black trees & grass. We also passed a few towns with interesting names :))




We arrived at Dr. MJ's place past noon, lepak2 jap minum coffee. It is smaller than our plc in Chaddy, but very neat & tidy (Dr. MJ is a very neat & tidy person, near OCD, hahahhaha). Rumah tu lantai parket, with heater kat ruang tamu. Ok la, very comfy, ada tv, sofa, dining table, open plan kitchen, fridge, microwave, stove & oven, lengkap la semua. Jiran2 sebelah semua mungkin docs jugak, since its senyap sunyi so mebbie diorang balik Melbourne/ mana2 for the weekends.

Pas tu terus gi SPC Sales centre, which is a place where kilang2 Gouldburn Valley/ SPC/ Campbell/ etc stok barang2 rumah in bulk & offers very good prices. Seperti dlm entry sblm ni, memang kami tersawan sket tgk brg2 yg jaaaauuh lagi murah fr what we can get from Coles/ Safeway/ Woolworth/ etc. Tak sedar diri betul my car is 'smallish', tapi bila fikirkan gua pernah pindah randah dgn kereta tu la ke Traralgon/ Sale/ Warragul/ etc. Byk berbakti kereta tu. Haiii... Anyways, byk gila borong, cautiously of course, coz ada yg murah2 tu yg dah passed their best-before date, which is fair enuf. It simply means that menda2 ni masih selamat digunakan cuma quality kureng sket than new products (heheheh.. blaja kat food safety course ari tu).

Dah late arvo & kami sgt lapar. So singgah ke Mustafa's Kebabs Place mkn kebab. They sed diorangnyer halal meat supply is from Melbourne. Very interesting ada a few halal kebab places around town, considering sini rural Aussie yg very much isolated from the world. And I can see byk Muslims pakai tudung even shopping at SPC tadi, which is quite impossible la jugak in most Aussie rural areas (due to racism). Sedap jugak kebab diorang, plus ada mcm2 drinks directly imported from Turkey. Interesting. Gua plak memborong instant chicken soup halal & some cherry drinks from there, I think ada je kat Melbourne, cuma malas nak cari. & alang2 dah ada kat sini, & murah plak tu, gua sambar je la. Huhuhu... puas la jugak.

(spaceship menyerang pekan shepparton)
Then kami ronda2 sekeliling town Shepparton & Mooroobna (5km away fr Shep). Cantik2 jugak rumah2 kat sini. Very much so like those rumah2 batu kat M'sia zaman 60's-80's. Classic. Ada jugak yg modern but gua kurang minat, since those kinda houses bersepah2 kat Melbourne. Bohsan ah. Talking about bosan, there's a shop here called sth like 'bohjan' ke apa ntah. Lupa nak amik gambar coz we were going back to Dr. MJ's place & it was already dark.
(tempat Penipu-penipu lepaks kat Shep ni)

We had dinner at Dr. MJ's place, since kitorang bwk some halal hotdog fr Melbourne. Simple. Mlm tu lepak2 sket lepas mandi. Tgk tv, reminiscing the old memory dok kat rural dulu (blehhh!!). Seronok tukar2 channel between Prime (as in channel 7 in Melbourne urban), Win (as in 9) and Southern Ten (as in 10). Byk iklan2 Rivers, chainsaw, perladangan, etc yg u cant see in Melb urban channels. Hehehehhe.

Seriously freezing there at night, more than Melbourne I supposed. Fuh, letih gila. Nitey nite.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Keesokan harinye lepas breakie, we went out again menikmati cahaya matahari yg best tu. Jalan2 tengok nama jalan lagi.

Ada pasar minggu dekat park sinun. Mcm2 ada. Some things are cheap, some things are mmm ala kadar, some things are sama je cam kat Melbourne.

Papan tanda best :)


Llama pun ada.


Very pretty place. Then kami bermain2 dgn lembu2 di Shepparton. Macam2 gaya ada.





Posting ala2 advert mag gitu :D




Ada mosque jugak kat sini :D

Lepas tu, singgah jap kat SPC lagi skali shopping last minute sebelum balik lunch kat tpt Dr. MJ.
Then travelled back to Melbourne. Huaarrghh... letih gila. But worthwhile.
InsyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki datang lagi :)


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

=) Lovely sun.. talking about being lucky

Adeehhhh.. sakitnye badan gua. Baru abis cuci toilet & shower. Ada lagi 9/10 of house jobs to do including kitchen, vacuming & laundry. Mlm tadi baru lepas susun2 makanan kat dapur tu.

Tak cukup tido mlm tadi coz bgn awal gila nak kejar masa hantar timesheet kat spital tu. Ye la, kang tak bergaji gua. Terkebil2 biji mata drive gi sana tadi.

Got a fon call from Chadstone Shopping Mall, I've won the Mothers' Day competition that I entered early this month wit hubby. Hooraaaayyy!!! Alhamdulillah. Then soon afta that, my new Dell lappie pun sampai. My oh my, macho gila. Wide 17+", violet in colour, 500GB HD & 4GB SD RAM, etc, cooooooool!! Puas hati. My other red lappie tu I sedekah kat hubby tersayang (berbakti kepada suami) :p ahaks.




So now, nak gi lunch, then gi Chaddy sana amik hadiah, apa la agaknye ye :D
Then sambung kemas2 rumah + study, hopefully. Rugi je gua curi buku gergasi tu kalau tak baca satu muka pun. And then just waiting for hubby to come back home to set up my new lappie, yay. (Susah jadi buta technology cam ni.. hehehhehe).

Shepparton trip will be in the next entry I hope.

Chiao.
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I'm back. This is what I won :)
A Leona Edmiston frock-dress costing AU$425. Whoaaa...

Hmmm... I wonder if I should $ell it on E-Bay or keep it/ wear it later (as I practically DONT wear any sort of dress/ jubah/ baju kurung except for Raya & some other special occasions that dont require me to be on the go & practical).

Monday, May 18, 2009

Food oh Food =D

Bwaahahahahahhahahhahahahahaahhahahahaha....
Itulah bunyi gelak puas hatiku menyusun stok-stok makanan kat dapur cinonet aku tu.

Masa kat pekan Shepparton tu kami terjadi gila sawan tgk harga food stuff soooooo cheap, most of them separuh dp harga yg bleh dpt kat major supermarkets in Melbourne. Yg dah beyond due date tu lagi la unbelievably cheap, but kami totally avoid those. Kami sambar yg new la of course. Cuma tak sempat beli fresh/ raw food stuff je. Plus tak cukup ruang nak sumbat dlm kereta kiut-miut aku tu. Ahaks.

Bertungkus-lumus aku & hubby dok susun all the food stuff yg dah sedia ada campur yg beli kat pekan nun. Dah asingkan jugak stuff yg kami beli kat Shepparton nak kasi kat Ly & TTM nanti. Puas hati tgk supply cukup utk next few months, InsyaAllah. Tinggal nak beli fresh/ raw foods je nanti. Fuh, memang puas hati. Wish my kitchen was bigger tho..

Man, am I glad we went to Shepparton.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

All the very best, my beloved brothers =)

Just got back from Shepparton where Dr. MJ has his rotation at the moment. Such a beautiful country town, even tho its still chilly, mebbie more than Melbourne, but still bright & sunny. Way way way better than Traralgon & Wallan (uhuk uhuk, of course, definitely, etc), definitely better than Warragul, and better than Sale, Ballarat, Swan Hill, Yarram, Kerang, Morwell, Moe, Trafalgar, dan those towns in between yg aku dah pernah pegi.

Will jot down more in my next entry about the weekend trip.

Anyways, my brother H3 is having his final A-Level exams starting tomorrow. This will determine whether he goes to the U.K. or Au or even the local uni's. He already received a conditional offer for 2 universities in the U.K. (brilliant, H3! well done!!). I dun mind him getting which ever, even tho like most families, of course I want him to be close to me. If gi U.K. plak, we get the chance to travel there, InsyaAllah, one day. But, whatever it is, he has to excel his exams first, then, nak pilih2 mana tu blakang kira la kan. Oh well, another family member is branching out of us all :(

My other brother H2 is doing his final year project & will be facing final year exams soon as well. I doakan he aces them excellent & get an excellent job that suits him afta that. My youngest brother H4 is also facing his UPSR soonish. I doakan he strikes it brilliant.

This is one of my reasons that I dont think its a good idea to balik M'sia for a bit during my week off this rotation. Even tho I miss my family terribly :(

So here my doa & wish for all of them, hugs & kisses:

Dear H1, H2, H3,
Dont be scared of these battles,
All ur sweat & effort will come to one,
InsyaAllah, dengan berkat Allah swt,
U will go through this with ease,
And
Allah swt alwiz gives u strength to face it all,
Dont forget ur gratitude to
Him,
And dont forget that we all pray for u, alwiz,
Love u for who u are,
And for whatever it is the pathway that's written for u,
Take care alwiz, be calm,
And ace it all.
InsyaAllah,
Love u alwiz,
Kak Long.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Kiddies... a whole new world... errk!!


Eheh.. dah seminggu gua in the paeds rotation. Seminggu jugakla gua terasa bangang semacam. Kids are just like adults, they have their own world, both medicine & surgery. Macam adults jugak, diorang ada sakit jantung, renal failure, masalah liver, diabetes, mcm2 lagi la. Its like learning a whole lot new things all over again. Memang betul la gua rasa bangang abis sepanjang 2 minggu ni.


Pening kepala kat special care nursery or time delivery tu, when they need the paeds resident to be present just in case nak kena resuscitate the newborn. Panic gua. They are sooo tiny!! Then, tension gua bila dgr kanak2 ni nangis non-stop coz of pain, bila nak masuk drip, bila examination, mcm2 lagi la. Setiap kali ward round, mesti terasa cam bodo je.

Paediatrics ni best la jugak coz past history mereka ni tak byk songeh. Simple & easy.. provided aku tau my medicine. Masalahnye tak tau, coz like I sed b4, memang this is truly a new world to me, last time I ever knew anything about paeds was during 4th Yr Medicine! Haru betul.

Jadi paeds resident tak la sesenang mana. Kena sentiasa bersedia utk berlari ke theatre or maternity ward kalau ada difficult labour/ emergency C-section. Kena bijak hal2 neonates ni. The place where I'm working we paeds ppl hafta cover adults medicine as well... all those complex patients under Gastroenterology (termasuk those who tak sedar diri keep on drinking alcohol even tho dah nak mati with their end stage liver failure & all of them ada hep C +ve & impossible veins coz of IVDU), Nephrology (again, termasuk jugak org2 yg tak sedar diri jugak keep on isap rokok, tak compliant, tak jaga blood pressure, tak jaga sugar, tak jaga makan even tho dah end stage renal failure & on haemodialysis), Endocrinology, Infectious Disease & Respiratory (again, termasuk those yg tak sedar diri keep on isap rokok even tho COAD yg teruk, basically lung failure). Hehehehhee.. sedap je aku ni ngutuk mereka.

Dari segi timetable, aku rasa ok la jugak. Aku tak kisah shift work. Minggu lepas aku kerja pagi, minggu ni kerja arvo shift, minggu depan shift malam, then cuti byk hari b4 kerja pagi balik. From my observation sejak start balik kerja awal thn dulu, I find that I am more tired bila kerja shift pagi coz busy pagi2 then balik dah penat lelah. Pas tu kena bgn awal balik. At least shift mlm & arvo bleh rehat byk2 before ada sth happens.

Kisah neonates plak: I feel hopeless coz tak tau nak buat apa. Nasib baik my bosses are so nice & sabar je dgn kitorang yg baru dlm paeds ni. Diorang la tunjuk ajar apa nak buat utk menyelamatkan budak2 ni. The first month of life is the most challenging period in life. Once they pass that stage, insyaAllah everything will go okay.

Kanak2 yg ada surgical condition senang je. Once kuar dp surgery & pass the recovery period, diorang terus sihat. Bleh dah lompat sana sini cam monyet. Kanak2 yg ada psychiatric condition tu yg susah sket tu. Byk betul in patient coz of overdose. Mcm2 overdose diorang ni.. overdose alcohol, paracetamol, antipsychotic... ntah apa2. Most of them sampai rosak some bodily organs coz of their overdose. Ada tu violent enuf, sampai parents diorang kena buat interventional order against them. Most of these kids memang bahaya tahap penjenayah. They are scary, their friends are scary. Fuh! Yes byk factors yg contributing to these probs, and I do understand why all these happen. Tapi sometimes aku rasa cam kami docs are cursed; dah la kena amik tax byk gila, gov budget takde provision utk healthcare/ditarik balik, docs welfare tak dijaga PLUS kena jaga org2 yg merugikan resources yg better spent for ppl who well deserve these. Mcm2 issue. Boleh botak gua!

Adohai.. tapi tu lah. Gua dpt cuti beberapa hari before starting night shifts nanti. So, aku harap aku merajin2kan diri baca buku paeds tu so that tak terasa cam bodo je bila start balik. Sambil2 tu kena la buat menda2 suri rumah yg masih menimbun dan menda2 penting lain yg tertangguh coz kami busy (alasan!).

Anyways, tomorrow going for a road trip up north to visit Dr. MJ kat Shepparton sana. Kesian dia di whoop whoop. Hahahhaha.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Mothers' Day

Happy Mothers' Day to my beloved mum
a.k.a.
Your Majesty Mak

This is kinda late on the blog posting but in my family, I'm the second to wish her that, after my 2nd youngest brother, H3. Dia tu dah wish & kasi prezi last week lagi. Giler semangat.

Like alwiz, celebrating anything, selain dp Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Hari Raya Aidiladha, memang kurang disambut dgn gahnye di dlm my family. Ni termasuk la harijadi/hari ibu/hari bapa/valentine's/ etc. Kami sejak kecik dah diasuh to appreciate & love each other regardless. We r taught to alwiz help each other with anything & at the same time to alwiz come back to each other if we r in need of anything. Family first, up or down.

Sejak dulu lagi, if ada rezeki lebih, kami akan get each other things. Like all my brothers, I alwiz get stuff from my parents regardless its my b'day or not. Same goes to my parents, we siblings will get them anything yg kami mampu tak kira masa kalau kami mampu, even tho diorang slalu menolak (mebbie sebab kesian anak2 & segan kot). Therefore, besday or lepas perform dlm exams ke or hari2 special lain yg ditanda oleh masyarakat majmuk pada kalendar, memang tak berapa big deal in our lives (mebbie masa kecik2 aku ada kot ngada2 nak itu-ini sebab tgk tv or jeles member2 lain dpt sth). So, kalau tak dpt hadiah masa besday memang tak kisah sgt coz hari2 lain memang dah dpt pun, whether kami tak malu mintak or not.


Cuma semenjak beberapa kebelakangan ni je yg sometimes some members of my family tetiba plak lebih ke arah materialistic menyambut hari2 ni. Especially dua org adik2ku yg ntah apa2 tu, si H3 & si H4. To me, again its not a big deal. Nak celebrate pun seronok gak, join the fun, lagi best to spice up my kinda-boring life here, especially kalau ada $$$ lebih sket utk disedekahkan ke kedai2.

It is to me menda2 ni lebih kurang mcm Western culture a bit where they celebrate all these that include budaya kasi hadiah & a really big deal to them kalau dilupakan. Sampai merajuk bagai. On the other hand, it is kinda fun kalau kita yg dpt sth & kalau ada rezeki lebih utk kasi kat org. And I have to admit, some ppl really appreciate ppl in their lives tapi ala-ala malu gitu nak show all the time, so hari2 special ni mungkin dicreate to encourage these ppl to show their gratitude to these special ppl in their lives. Kasi can.

Well, whateva it is pandangan & amalan masyarakat majmuk semua, to me there's nuthing wrong in spending a bit of time, energy or $ to those special ones in our lives on those special days marked on the calendar. And it is even better if we show them that we love & appreciate them on other days of the calendar too. At the same time, those ppl yg didedikasikan ucapan2/hadiah2 spesel tu hafta show their appreciation in return to those yg dah berpenat-lelah membanting tenaga, masa & $ utk diorang jugak. Dan tidak merajuk kalau tak dpt apa2. Bersyukur sebab Allah swt masih kasi peluang utk kita to have them in our lives.

Anyways, to all mums in the world, happy mothers' day. It is the toughest title & position in the universe. Well done, u r the best.

*especially ucapan utk kenalan2ku, mak-mak dara ni:
D= bakal ibu :)
TTM= congratulations, comel & touching bila gua baca pasal anak2 u. they r soooo sweeet.
Ly.= ur gem is sooooo sweet, even tho he is a shy boy dia berjaya go against his shyness to do all that. u r very lucky :)
Not to forget, MakLong & Auntie N (D's mum)= Happy Mothers' Day. I thank Allah swt for giving me the chance to kno ur kids & family :)

To mum-in-law, this is the only thing that I would like to thank u, thank u for giving me my beloved hubby.


To my mum,
thank you,
there's no word or amount of money in the world to show how much I really appreciate u.

I thank Allah swt for giving u all the strength & patience to have me since in vitro 'til now & forever. I thank Allah swt to have u in my life.
Even if I dont say it out loud all the time or not much of hugs and holding hands when we walk together, but I really do love u.
Millions of apology if I ever hurt u, I kno I have (memang masa tu bangang & tak sedar diri). I doa for you alwiz all the very best in life, InsyaAllah.
Thank you for having me in ur life.
Love u lots.


Sunday, May 03, 2009

frosty sunnie..

nice sunny day outside, but alas its cold. i'm thankful to Allah swt that its still sunny despite this cold weather.

was sick last night & had to miss work. really bad migraine that made me throw up multiple times. huhuhu... so sad. i alwiz feel sad after vomiting, i think everyone does. slept all the time coz couldnt do anything, couldnt eat, couldnt drink, couldnt read, couldnt even look at anything coz the light was killing me. such a waste of time being sick. if i wasnt, at least i could have tried revising my barely-there paeds (plus renal, endo, respi, gastro ) knowledge. (heh, ye la tu, cita-cita besar sungguh)

it's May, that month of the year. it my month =)

i'm supposed to be happy that May has finally come. many things are happening at this moment of time. lembu-lembu bersama-sama langau-langaunye contaminating this lovely month. it will mark the month forever, causing such heartache if i choose to remember it... yes, thats right, if i choose to remember today as it is. its hard but i hafta. the game of mind is alwiz difficult.
hate it that May here is always chilly & gloomy with only occasional sunlight, and it will always be. bleh..

today will continue for a few days, at least until lembu-lembu tu blah. huhuhu...

may Allah swt give me strength to face the day and beyond. i'm not going to pray for all these to disappear, if this is what's written for me, but i pray that i have the strength & patience to face life. i'm not as strong as i want me to be...

so much to do.. which one today... guitar heroes, rayman, samurai, or still mario kart? aaahh.. those paeds book keep on staring at me. but i want to finish the story book that i've started last week, still on chapter 1. nak baca mags yg aku curik from the ward tu lagi (seb baik dah disinfect dgn avagard..hehehhe). those laundry too, and those letters & papers piling up on the floor in the living room AND the rooms. stop staring at me, damn it, piles!) then my heroes & without a trace series. mebbie i should go to my veggie pots. haaiii... i so wanted to have a bite on the home made lemonade & banana split at pancake parlour.

mmm... lucky i've ironed all my work attire for next week. oh, i'm due for my fortnightly mini-spa/facials. hehehhehe.. later tonite lah.

so much for my whinging bout...

anyho, going to Mordialloc to visit TTM & family this arvo. my buyung fren's mum is here for a visit before leaving to Adeleide next week. (jangan marah Dr. D. ehhehehehehehe.. ceria-ceria selalu). going to make some meat pies. nyaaammm.. tapi mana bleh lawan dgn TTM nyer masakan. ahaks =D *winks*

til then... huhuhuhuhahahhahahahahahuhuhuhuhu....
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