That feeling...

I really am missing my family at this moment. Tgh takde mood. Tgh bungkus myself in bed. The sun is bright outside & its making me more miserable.. I wish I was in M'sia.

Sepanjang perjalanan from work abis my last nite of the cycle tadi, I couldnt pay attention on the road. Ntah apa2 je drive, seb baik tak accident. Mebbie penat, mebbie stress, mebbie first step approaching delirium tak cukup oxygen & glucose. Whatever it is, gua memang takde mood sangat2 ni. I wish there was a pintu suka hati doraemon so that I could go back to my family this very minute. =(

I have been having these thoughts for quite sometime now.. in fact its been for soooo many years that I've lost tract of it already. Thinking about these is making me insane...

I've missed so many years being with my family..
I've missed so many great moments with them..
What if I've missed those times when they actually in the dumps, & I was supposed to be there..
I know I have..
I've missed seeing my brothers grow to become different, better persons each day.. all I see on their faces during those very short moments is the child in them..
and I havent been there to walk through the journey with them..
I've missed growing old & wiser with my parents.. all I see on their faces during those very short moments together is the lines of life drawn on their faces..
and I havent been there to walk through the journey with them..
What if I've missed knowing each of them at all..
I know I have..
I've missed them in my life.. in my own journey through this world..
But going through this ever challenging walk of life..
I see their hands with me..
I see them in me..
May I swim through this with their strength.. insyaAllah...
My beloved family.. miles away yet dekat di hati...