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Monday, January 31, 2011

Telinga berdarah di ICU

I'm in ICU atm. Alhamdulillah its been quiet so far. Dah selesai 3 malam aku night shift minggu ni, malam ni (Isnin) adalah malam terakhir for this cycle habis pagi Selasa kol 9am. Then aku off, kembali kerja on Thursday, day shift until la weekends. Minggu terakhir aku kat ICU. Sob sob sob. Then back to ED, doing a junior registrar job. Sob sob sob sob sob lagi. Aku suka ICU. 3-month-term is a short term for any junior doc for any rotation, if you want to learn something.

On the other hand, lega dah takde kerja dgn si orang gila Timur Tengah tu. In fact, since minggu lepas until next week, aku takkan jumpa dia lagi. Harap-harap our paths will never ever cross again. Amin.

Malam tadi best, aku buat 2x internal jugular CVC. I kno most ppl my level will be like.. "Whats so big of a deal is that.. aku dah buat berlambak.. tak heran pon.." Oh, well, it is a big deal to me. First we are dealing with an unstable patient who needs a central line. At the same time a sick patient will make doing a central line insertion hard. Thirdly, looking at the anatomy itself, internal jugular is right next (lateral) to the carotid artery, a major artery supplying the brain. So ada macam-macam risks di situ, plus its an invasive procedure. Internal jugular is not the only access for a central line. Ada lagi: femoral vein, subclavien vein, or PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter). Aku dah buat PICC hari tu. And what has taken me sooooo long dah nak abis ICU baru nak buat CVC? Entah ngapa setiap kali aku on either its toooo busy that we could hardly breathe, or patients dah sedia ada lines, or my reg akan buat the important lines. Esp. kalau kerja dgn si Timur Tengah tu, memang takde harapan la aku nak blaja apa-apa. Haram betul.
Kesimpulannye, memang aku bangga dapat buat 2 skali gus malam tadi. Harap-harap la dapat buat beberapa lagi central lines sampai la aku abis ICU nanti. Ye la, tempat mana lagi boleh buat these important procedures selain dp anaesthetics & ICU.

Ops.. ada call from the ward.

Ok dah balik. Unwell patient on the ward, tapi di assess oleh resident yg malas & dodgy. Ngamuks registrar aku. Hahaha. Tapi terpaksa la jugak pegi assess the patient. And seb baik patient to okay. Tak perlu masuk ICU. ICU dah penuh malam ni.

Tajuk telinga berdarah tu saja je gempak. Takde la gempak sangat. Tapi saja nak citer, registrar yg aku kerja malam ni ialah ED registrar yg amik locum job coz takde registrar malam ni. Aku kenal dia. Pernah kerja dgn dia byk kali since aku start kerja kat EH ni lagi. Rajin, pandai. Tapi, ya Allah! Swears like nobody's business, all the time. Perit jugak la telinga aku dengar dia komen itu ini, esp. pasal politics. Semuanye negative. Adoh, kadang sampai bini dia pon dia panggil B*! Korang agak sendiri la apa perkataan berbintang tu. Hahahaha. Takpe la tu, tak kisah. As long dia suka kerja dgn aku, and baik dgn aku tak buli aku cam si hampes tu. And dia pon one of the many ED registrars yg dah quit hospital training coz of had enuf with the politics, funding & working conditions. Rugi lah, Australian government still biar je rakyat jelata fall behind in their health care pasal diorang malas nak improve the situation.

Tak sabar abis shift. Lagi 6 jam nak abis ni. Aku datang lambat coz the day resident covered for me 2hours tadi. Jumaat hari tu aku dah datang awal for night shift to cover her. So dia balas balik balik tadi. Bagus la, aku ada extra masa nak buang kat rumah before coming to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5pm, kat rumah.
Sambung. Hampes, aku tak dpt lelap mlm tadi koz registrar aku dok bantai tido berjam-jam. Aku sebenarnye tak berapa kisah coz dia kena gi court hari ni kasi statement. Bukan pasal dia punye salah. Tapi as a witness utk pesakit gila yg jadi penjenayah. Pagi tadi sebelum abis shift dia dah tukar pakai coat tie semua pasal kena gi court.

Actually semuanye quiet until around 530am, macam2 review from the ward. 2 yg boleh dilupakan. 1 post-op patient dropped GCS, mismanaged by anaesthetic reg & resident & ED & the whole ward basically. 1) The last BSL was 8.7 by the ambo, cant find any more documented in the rest of the notes since yesterday. Bila aku suggest check BSL while waiting for the bloods to come back & further brain storm apsal dia ni dropped GCS quickly... wooooo undetectable by glucometer & finally on ABG showed 0.2!!! Kami kasi la glucose cepat2 before dia koma terus. Slowly responding. 2) The rest of the bloods showed critically high lactate, low pH.. hence severe acidosis. Kami rehydrate her with dextrose. Bawak gi ICU. 3) She had ~3litres of bile washed out during her laparatomy for cholecystectomy. So she is pretty sick.
Kat ICU dia deteriorated, ni semua jadi around 730am++ when dah nak abis shift. Serious kelam kelibut. She appeared septic. Kesian that poor old lady. She is very sore in the tummy, ye la post op kan. Then kami tak dpt nak buat artline coz very peripherally shut down dah. Tiba big bosses pagi tu, lepas hand over, terus diorang intubate her. Harap-harap she survived. Kesian sangat.

Oh ye, ada this new med student final year of post grad from Deakin Uni datang buat her rotation here. Ches, sibuks je. Hahaha.. ada tanda2 jeles di situ. Ye la, dah la lawa, appears confident plak tu. Great personality jugak. Dgn aku yg tgh takde self-esteem buat masa ni mmg rasa nak suruh dia balik buat kerja apa dia buat before dia decided to jump to medicine. Post grad course for medicine ni slalunye shorter than the normal degree, utk org yg tak dpt buat medicine as their bachelor.

Lepas intubate tu aku balik rumah. Ingat nak singgah Chadstone to order this cookie cake from Mrs. Fields. Tapi dah ngantuks sangat. Balik je terus pengsan atas katil.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Flowers kat hospital

More on flowers.

Ni semalam lepas case prezentation, aku gi hantar payslip kat bangunan HR. Berkesempatan snap some flower pics.

Aku dah lama nak amik gambar these cute little flowers kat depan building tpt aku slalu hantar my timesheet, where the HR lives. Its not alwiz aku pergi sini considering bangunan ni separate from the main hospital building & jauh nak jalan. Kalau drive pulak kena bayar parking. Baik aku parking kat hospital parking yg dah memang2 tolak from my pay. Dulu ada straight route to it from the main building but since the construction of the new hospital Critical Care building, derang dah tutup jalan tu so kena lalu jalan jauh lagi to get here. Walau pon senaman kiranye utk aku, aku malas gila nak pegi sini coz banyak org gila melepak kat entrance building ni. Thats because the building is also shared by the Psychiatry In-patient units (one for adults, one for children/teens), and other Mental Health services. Tak tau la apsal pandai sgt HR gi share this building with Mental Health services ni. Dulu dah elok2 kat main hospital building. And pasal org2 ni melepak depan building HR ni jugak yg menyebabkan aku tak amik gambar bunga2 ni setiap kali gi hantar timesheet/ amik payslips kat sini. Mostly aku tak tau nama flowers ni.

This is the white version of the konon-konon weed yg aku citer hari tu
My favourite!! Comel sgt these deep red flowers
Cute purple flowers
Ada banyak lagi bunga, nanti2 aku usahakan amik gambar lagi, provided those psych patients takde lepak2 kat depan building ni. My life is very simple eh. Aku suka flowers yg kat pokok, but not bouquet hadiah utk aku coz nanti lama2 dia akan layu & aku jadi sedih kena buang bunga2 tu. Nak bela bunga sendiri plak malas. Baik bela sayur or buah, at least kenyang. Hehehehe.

Okay, am getting ready for night shift. Ciao.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Prezo petang ni

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Malam tadi aku tido lambat gila just for the final touch ups for my presentation. Hari ni plak bgn awal. Malam tadi dok mimpi about this presentation. Of course la aku takut coz topic yg aku dapat tu susah, it was supposed to be presented by an ICU registrar not watak picisan like me. And lebih menakutkan pasal bosses & their trainees in ICU/ ED +/- Anaesthetics will be there. Selalu meeting gini resident cam aku ni mana la pegi. Berdebar gila, cam kena AF plak. Takut aku gagap or pengsan terus je nanti.

Tajuk prezo aku ialah Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome- A Diagnostic Dilemma. Dah siap dah semua mlm tadi. Tapi ni jap lagi nak baca satu2 mana tau ada menda aku miss/ silap ke. Kena careful in this kind of meeting. Maklumla org2 besar ada di sana.

Doakan aku selamat pegi & balik, doakan aku diberi kekuatan to face this meeting, doakan aku berotak cergas & tak mati kutu time prezo nanti. InsyaAllah.

Kalau aku lama tak update ini blog lepas ni, maknanye either coz aku busy sebab straight to night shift for the next 4 nights OR aku memang kecewa sgt dgn diri sendiri sebab prezo tu. Harap2 sebab yg pertama tu. Amin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, Alhamdulillah case prezo ok je. Walaupon aku terketar2, yg penting dah pon disampaikan. Aku presenter last skali so mmg tak byk soalan, and tak meleret2 coz dah tak cukup masa. Lega aku. Hehehhee.

Petang tu kami went to the city for dinner, and lepas dinner dok melepak kat Max Brenner kat Melbourne Central. Kat QV punye slalu penuh & tutup awal. Btw, masing2 dah penuh perut masa makan sini and aku pon dah start reflux, aku tak abis my drink & the waffle. Sebab seat kami di sebalik dinding, maka senang la aku membungkus waffle tu. =P duit weh.

Nombor order kami kat Max Brenner. Coincident dgn giliran prezo aku ptg tadi
My drink: dark chocolate with crispy waffle balls
Tuty fruity waffles
Yummilicious!!
Hubby's expresso
Abis dah...
Nak tau apsal aku gila sangat dgn Belgian waffles kat Max Brenner ni? Sebab rasanye yg manis, tak rasa telur sangat (yg slalu buat aku cam mual sket), and dia tebal & crispy on the outside, lovely inside. Teringat zaman aku kecik2 dulu kat US. Love waffles! Setakat ni aku tak jumpa lagi waffle batter yg rasa dia mcm tu unless beli yg ready made tinggal nak masuk dlm toaster je. Ada yg crispy but then rasa telur kuat sgt, ada yg lembut macam getah. LG punye batter recipe aku tak try lagi coz lepas hari tu tak berkesempatan buat yet. See how we go bila aku dah try nanti.

Malam tu bercita-cita lah aku nak stay up lama-lama coz kerja malam this weekends, plus Friday aku kena gi awal covering for my fren & he will cover for me next weekend plak.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cuti Australia day, bunga & rumpai

Malam tadi Dr. HAK & I went to the city to meet up with Dr. AI. Saja last kumpul 3 org girls mungkin last tahun ni coz Dr. AI dah nak balik M'sia in 2wks time. DIa nak berehat setahun from dunia perubatan ni. Sedih la jugak, member baik nak balik M'sia. Tinggal berapa kerat je kami kat sini. Went to eat at this nice restorant in Docklands.

Caramel pannacotta with citrus syrup yg aku & Dr. HAK order.. nyaaamm!
Sticky date puding yg diorder oleh Dr. AI.. sedaaap!
Hari ni plak cuti umum negara.. Australia Day. YL buat bday party for her daughter. Aku tak pergi coz kena siapkan this presentation for tomorrow (presentation yg akan menentukan hidup matiku for the next few months). Hubby pon tak pegi coz he's meeting up with his friend in the city.

Haaa.. ni nak kenalkan some of the flowers/ weeds kat rumah aku. Flowers tu sumer ditanam oleh tuan rumah. Some weeds (yellow ones) tumbuh sendiri coz kami separa malas jaga lawn. To me the flowers here are more cantik dp the flowers I had kat rumah lama dulu.

Tak tau lily apa ni
Ni mungkin sama geng dgn lily kat atas tu kot. Tak tau jenis apa
Ni pon sama, tak tau apa nama pokok bunga ni
Ni dia punye pucuk muda
Pokok rose renek yg aku tak sedar pon kewujudannye, tapi cute
Lagi pokok ros renek sebelah sana
Agapanthus purple depan rumah. (Thanks Lemongrass).
Ramai org rajin tanam ni. Ada kaler putih juge
Lagi rumpai kat halaman rumah... tak lama lagi selamat la dia kena cantas

Next time perkembangan cili & sayuran kat sini plak. Now back to work!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Duet papa & daughter yg sangat sweet =)

Video ni sangat sweet!!! Korang kena tengok.. comel gila!

Ni video of a father duet dgn anak dara dia kat Yahoo! Shine.
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/momentsofmotherhood/this-week-in-mom-dad-and-daughter-duet-2444229/

Gambar selingan rumpai kat my backyard
Nanti aku dah ada anak nanti, tak kira la laki ke pompuan ke, aku ajak duet dgn aku.. nyanyi lagu dermatome dance.. hehehhhehee...
Bila rasa insap sket aku duet dgn dia ngaji plak =P

Monday, January 24, 2011

Another day

Takde menda sangat hari ni selain dp baca stuff. Then by midday afta Zohor I decided to go to Chaddy saja buang masa. Semalam tak cukup lagi buang masa. Heh! Teringin Boost 2 in 5 juice tu sebenarnye.

Kalau tak tebas tumbuhan liar kat blakang rumah ni soon, nanti jadi
hutan belantara la lagi... Tu rumpai kuning dlm gambar atas tu dah naik dah...
Petang plak tetiba rajin buat roti. Aku hari tu try French bread nyer function kat breadmaker aku. And hasilnye adalah roti yg sangat lembut di dalam. Lagi best dp white bread. So aku ter-ada idea nak guna the dough to make sardine rolls. Sebelum merayau tadi, aku dah start function 'dough' guna recipe French bread tu. Balik tu aku buat the intinye. Sepanjang pengalaman aku buat roti selama ni, aku perasan yg the dough is very melekit & bouncy. Selalu aku letih nak knead semula or nak guna rolling pin kat dough roti. Tabik spring la kat TTM rajin buat bentuk2 bagai each time buat roti. Agak2 kalau aku rajin menguli roti arms aku nanti ada gaya Michelle Obama's arms tak?

Ni la rotinye.

Tu dia nkau! Pecah abis! Biasa la mak dara buat tak reti sabar & cermat.
Seb baik sedap. Krispi kat luar, gebu bangat kat dalam. Macam French bread. Nyaaam!
Masuk ikut urutan breadmaker aku, dari atas ke bawah
Boleh la hubby bawak bekal esok. Esok-esok lagi nanti boleh la aku try recipe yg sama utk buat herbs rolls, french buns, ke apa-apa ikut kerajinan aku.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Learnawordaday!

Urrgghhh... I just realized that for the next 4 weeks I'll will be working weekends; 2 weekends in ICU, then starting ED with 2 weekends. That's equivalent to a month of no social life at all!!! Zaaaliimmmm!!
Tension dah aku nih!


Dlm minggu ni aku blajar perkataan baru dari 2 member aku. Korang tau menjengkit tu apa? Korang tau menjongkit tu apa pulak? Bukan jongkang-jongkit okay. Hahahhaa. SueJoshua ajar aku hari tu menjengkit tu merayap. Dr. HAK plak hari ni ajar aku menjongkit tu merayap jugak. Masa aku tanya si Dr. HAK tu tadi, sedap dia je ckp aku ni budak bandar. Eh, bukan pasal aku ni budak bandar tak tau bahasa2 canggih ni. Pasal aku ni skema, tak terkesan kat otak aku ni selama membesar di kalangan kawan2 yg datang dari pelbagai background. Kat rumah tak guna bahasa2 tambahan ni. So memang bahasa2 tu hilang begitu saja lah. Teringat citer abah masa dia skolah dulu dia & member2 dia kelentong org yg nak blaja bahasa Tamil ni... kuar satu perkataan: Learnawordaday! Punye la member tu dok hafal.. kekkekekekke...

Anyways, tadi lepas aku jumpa bos aku kat ICU tu utk finalize presentation
aku, aku gi lepak dgn Dr. HAK jap. Menjengkit/ menjongkit lah apa lagi. Ke Myer, than ke Coles. Retail therapy. Beli tudung & sth else tak perlu tanya :P. Aku sukaaaa retail therapy. Tenang fikiran aku jap dok meretail therapy nih. Hehhehehe. As long as aku tak tengok balik receipts nyopping tadi, aku rasa aku seronok dah. :P

Gambar bunga raya ni sumer amik kat rumah Dr. HAK.
Aussies pon dah pandai tanam pokok bunga raya uuu!
And balik tadi aku masak dinner. Simple je. Aku rindu nak makan kari. Tapi aku terkuarkan chicken wings.. aku tak suka chicken wings unless dia goreng garing or bakar. Tapi dah ada tu taruh je la dlm kari tu. Ok je la rasanye.

Kari ayamku. The only thing missing is daun kari
And partnernye sayur campur.. biasa la aku


Dalam stress-stress tu, masak je la yg dpt make me happy... selain dp nyopping, mekap, Restaurant CIty :P

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Happy Birthday my Dearest Brothers

gambar from http://www.myspacegraphicsandanimations.com/myspace-animations-myspace_happy-birthday-graphics.htm

H.A.P.P.Y B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y


1. H3 on the 20th Jan
2. H2 on the 21st Jan

All the very best in life, semoga hidup diberkatiNYA. Jangan lupakan kami bila dah berjaya. And alwiz remember that we alwiz love both of you to bits.


Diorang dua ni bukan kembar. Jaaaauh skali. Umur beza 7 tahun. Sorang kat Malaysia, sorang kat Manchester. Rupa & style sangat lain, perangai pon lain-lain skali. Tapi diorang sama-sama hensem & they share a birthday month & dua-dua adik kesayangan aku. Hopefully sama-sama berjaya dalam hidup dalam bidang masing-masing.


Cam tu la aku busy manjang sampai tak sempat nak buat entry khas utk dua-dua orang adik aku nih. Sedih tol. Sorry sangat2 cant be there with u guys on ur special day. Sedih la tak dapat be there with my family for their special occasions. I hope I can be there di saat-saat muram mereka if I cant be there with them on their saat-saat ceria. Susah jadi org jauh gini... ketinggalan, kehilangan...

gambar from http://www.background-wallpapers.com/holidays-wallpapers/christmas/christmas-present_2.html

Break jap: masak udang

Lama eh, tak update. Aku cam terasa from now on aku nyer update profile will be a little low.
Lagi 2 minggu nak abis ICU, and at the same time aku tgh struggling nak abiskan my presentation on Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Lagi menyeksakan bila fikir pasal those who are going to be there: anaesthetic team, ICU team including this scary intensivist, ED team. Dalam pada tu aku jugak have been stressing out & sakit hati each time gi kerja kena buli dgn this middle eastern registrar yg such a b******. Seriously aku benci dia sangat2. At this point, I dont think anyone knows that my self-esteem is even worse than rock bottom. All the time rasa macam nak bunuh diri sebelum aku sebagai a very unsafe doctor bunuh pesakit. Tak pon berhenti kerja je, mebbie jadi pilot (eh.. eh.. eh?) or apa-apa saja not medical related.

Semalam aku off, tapi I went to the hospital as part of my presentation preparation. Balik-balik je dah lambat. Before pegi spital, aku belek2 freezer tgk apa yg ada. Terjumpa this sebungkus udang galah. Banyak plak tu. Tak ingat plak bila aku beli. Anyways, malam tu aku dok belek2 buku resepi yg aku kumpul2 sejak zaman student dulu. Ingat nak masak udang masak rempah, udang asam pedas or udang masak lemak. Bila dah start potong2 tu tetiba rasa cam malas plak nak masak byk2. Makanye...

Udang ni patut goreng, tapi biasa la aku 'M' kan. Isi2nye: bawang, garlic, rempah kari, chili paste, tomyam cube, oyster sauce, udang. Masak kuah sampai kering sket then masukkan udang.
Masak lemak sayur dgn so'on. Takde tempe. Bubuh sos tiram & ikan bilis gak tadi.
Sayur2 dia: kacang panjang, portobello mushroom, karot, cabbage, cili padi.
Tetiba terasa cam banyak sangat plak udang tu. Sapa je la nak makan udang byk2 kan. Hubby nampaknye tak berminat nak makan udang tu. Tak sentuh langsung pon mlm tadi or hari ni. Aku plak cepat bosan. Hmm.. mebbie elok kalau aku bungkus udang tu kasi member esok.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Nasi lemak & brownies

Lepas Subuh tadi aku gi bantai tido sampai la sebelum Zohor tadi. Buruk eh perangai mak dara sorang nih! Hehehhee.. Bukan apa, wasnt well over the weekends after that Saturday bushwalking tu, and rasa cam ada proximal myopathy je, sakit semacam badan kaki tangan aku. Nak buat homework pon terasa cam takde daya. (Ngada sungguh eh)

Anyways, coz malam tadi & pagi tadi aku dok termimpi-mimpi nasi lemak so aku pon dok berperang di dapur petang tadi. Masak lebih sket for dinner, boleh simpan & makan for breakie tomorrow or bawak bekal. Alhamdulillah, my first nasi lemak in 2011 ni sangat edible. Like I sed before aku ni kan memilih kalau pasal makan, so kalau aku masak tak sedap jgn harap nak abis even sesenduk. Biar org lain endure the pain makanan aku tu, tak pon ke tong sampah je. Nyehnyehnyeh. Tadi aku tambah la jugak, big portion lagi tu. Aish.. ke laut la nampaknye senaman aku siang tadi.

Sambal ni aku taruh taucu sket, slain dp bhn2 biasa: cili kering, bawang besar, garlic, gula, air asam jawa, garam, minyak masak utk menumis.
Sepeket terus aku goreng ikan bilis ni. Senang nak makan dgn menda-menda lain jugak
Nasi kureng lemak & garam :)
Esok shift siang plak sampai Khamis ni. And coz aku kerja with my fav registrar this week aku pon dgn rajinnye buat brownies. And Alhamdulillah, brownies aku jadik jugak. Ingat lagi tak last yr incident huduh dgn brownies byk kali buat tak jadi. I think it was bcoz of the oven tak best kat rumah lama tu. Oven rumah sini best, apa2 aku bake/bakar/grill semua jadi sedaaap!! Senang coz nak cairkan mentega & choc tu guna microwave je. Bagus skali utk aku yg konon-konon busi manjang, jimat masa & tenaga =P

Amik kat buku The New Basic Cook Book. Kacangnye aku guna walnuts
Patut jadi cam ni dlm buku tu
Aku punye lepas dah potong kecik2. Rupa luar dia lebih kurang la cam kat atas tu.
Kira menjadi la kan aku punye brownies ni. Yaaayyy!!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Santai, XMas & the Departure...

Sambungan citer visit hari tu.

The final few days tu diorang just lepak2 beli apa yg patut. Seronok jugak dok rumah dgn family.
Kalau tak rasa kosong je dok kat tanah asing ni. Tak shopping anything special coz barang Aussie mahal sangat. Only some small souvenirs je nak kasi sedara-mara sahabat-handai di sana. Petang-petang plak adik aku main bola sepak dgn hubby kat padang sini.

Ni dinner kat rumah TTM on Friday; Adik aku ngan hero-hero TTM & Lybeau
Christmas day gi jemputan kat rumah Dr. MJ.
Ni kereta Dr. ZJ yg adik aku dah lama minat sangat. Posing jap
Dinner malam last tu, aku paksa adik aku tolong aku masak.
Ni dia yg masak, ikut arahan aku guna bahan2 yg aku dah sediakan. Sedap!
Then the time came for them to depart back to M'sia. Sedih la. Memang rasa sikit sangat time with them kat Melbourne ni. And boleh dikatakan sejak mereka jejak kaki kat Melbourne ni walaupon aku happy, still jiwa aku tak tenteram memikirkan yg the time diorang kat sini sangat pendek.
Bergelen jugak air mata aku nangis kat airport tu. Aku memang emo. Salah sorang adik aku yg kini kat M'sia tu slalu ckp dah tua pon nak nangis jugak. Well.. tua-tua pon, still diorang ni family aku, darah daging aku. Aku tak suka dok sini tanpa family aku. That day and for the next few days tu terasa sangat kekosongan. Sedih sangat. Kalau tak buat apa-apa with them pon takpe, just their presence dah buat jiwa aku tenang kat sini. Nak rasa mcm normal family life that I feel like I've lost for the past 15yrs just bcoz aku sentiasa away from home sebab belajar. I wish they were here, and I know I'm being selfish to wish for that.
And that day reality hit really hard... berbalik ke dunia nyata with work, study, house, etc... reality is not that sweet :'( :'( :'(

Kat Nandos Tullamarine Airport that morning
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