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Thursday, December 24, 2009

I'm still heartbroken :'(


I hate work & those dumb inefficient people related to it. X-(

And I'm still heartbroken. :'(

Malas nak senaman dgn trainer hari ni. :(

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My poor baby =(( =((

My poor baby ada dent!! :'( :'( :'(
I hit the corner of a wall while reverse parking at Chadstone :'(
My vision was slightly blurry since morning by the time sampai kat Chadstone my brain dah berpinar-pinar coz of the very bright sun. Found a parking spot somewhere in the KMart area, but situ banyak sgt blind spot. Parking spot tu basenye dinding corner/ giant tiangs & kereta yg park sebelah spot tu ialah kereta pendek yg hampir2 naik curb sebelah dinding tu. Dlm pinar2 tu my mistake made the car as a referance while reverse parking, becoz kereta sebelah lagi saaaangat panjang & terkeluar spot. Blakang plak corner of a wall kaler putih. Memang tak nampak. :'(
Sedih gilaaaa ada 1 dent at the back of my new car. :'(
Mesti pasal of the blind spots, silau outside, & me not looking hard enuf plus my slow reaction to move forward bila dah hit the corner of the wall tu :'( :'( :'(
Rasa cam nak gantung diri je.. huhuhuhuhuuuuuuu... :'(
I am really really really heartbroken :'(

Anyways, bought house stuff, then retail therapy beli My Coach Fitness Get Fit Wii dvd. Boleh tahan la senaman dia. Terasa cam ada personal trainer sendiri.
I forgot about the car a litle bit. Tapi now teringat balik. :( :'( Terasa nak nangis now in my bedroom :'(

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Jungle Trekking

Our yard had been neglected for probably months that the view from the outside, our house might have been like a haunted hut in the middle of a scary jungle. Seriously, cam tu la pandangan mata aku setiap kali aku kuar & masuk rumah.

Being obsessive compulsive, I had been thinking lots about snipping the grass, pruning, cutting branches, weeding, etc. Even kat tempat kerja. Setiap hari aku akan fikir about it. Setiap kali balik kerja aku akan dok dlm kereta jap, sort of planning my way to the yard. Obsess nyer pasal kot. Well, this in one of the many ways aku cope with life stressors (ni jangkit from Dr D la ni :P). But I remember last time I did it myself
badan aku akan sakit2 gila (marah kat hubby nyer pasal aku gi snip rumput & potong dahan2 pokok). This time dah nekad dah nak ajak hubby join sama. Its our yard after all.

So yesterday pagi2 lagi afta breakie kami pon start la potong sana sini, bit by bit clearing the jungle until early arvo. It was a good weather to work on the garden. Gila penat. Tak sempat habis semua coz baaaaaaanyaaaaaaaak sgt. Tapi by the end of yesterday dah nampak clear sket. Kena alih all the 3 cars outside on the streets before starting doing it, and by the time masukkan balik kereta2 tu aku terasa relieved sket. Bila bukak pintu from my car takde la terasa cam dahan pokok hampas tu cam nak tercucuk mata aku or tercalarkan my face or terlukakan my car (I like to reverse park so that easy to chiao pagi2). Malam tu gila sakit badan. Popped some NSAIDs & lega sket (harap2 takde la exacerbation of this stoopid gastritis). Hubby pon sakit badan gak, could tell from his snoring both masa arvo nap & malam. Tapi dia ni ngelat je lebih :P

Pagi ni sambung lagi kat backyard plak. It was a good weather again. Gila aaahh! Ni lagi la cam hutan belantara. Aku kena really berhati2 coz byk lebah2 kat pokok bunga blakang rumah yg dulu ditanam oleh landlord. Before started, I slapped on sunblock & lotsa insect repellent & also my lucky yellow beach
hat. Tak nak kena sengat, kang pengsan. Coz kat blakang nyer hutan lebih dasyat dp kat depan rumah, aku jumpa banyak gila insects & ulat2 lepas dah tebang2 tu sumer. Jijiks! Tapi nak buat cam mana kena hapuskan gak sumer2 ni. Kang susah nak jemur kain.

Ckp pasal jemur kain, I remember early this yr masa marah kat hubby aku dok snipping some trees & grass kat blakang. Masa snip pokok pagar kat tpt jemur kain tu aku ter'snip' salah satu line jemur kain tu. Huish.. tu la.. marah sangat sampai sumer pon bantai je. Dosa kat suami.
Astaghfirullahaladzim!
Anyways, tadi aku buat sungguh2 & hati2. Hubby still ngelat sket2. Tapi takpe, yg penting aku takde la buat menda ni sorang2.

Dlm tempoh 2 hari ni, 2 trips to Bunnings. Hubby beli mini garden bins, gergaji 2 biji (satu letrik, satu manual), pruning scissors, some seeds, rake & apa ntah lagi. Berguna.

Masalah kami sejak yesteday is takde green bin. Memang masa pindah sini dulu takde green bin & kami tak pernah peduli coz slalu rajin bersihkan sket2 & longgokan daun2 tu bubuh je kat tepi pokok that in a few months dah jadi kompos. Tapi kali ni hasil tuaian hutan belantara tu rasanye 3 green bin tu pon still tak cukup. Dah la penuh dgn ulat2. Yucks! Ikutkan hati nak je biar kat halaman blakang tu & kat bwh2 pokok. Aku dah memang gelisah habis dgn sepah2 ni. So hubby cadangkan panggil green waste people, and thank God, it was definitely a damn good idea. Org tu siap bunuh weed lagi. Bagus. Tah yah aku penat2 terbongkok-bongkok cabut rumpai2 tu lagi. A very pricey idea I would rather say.
Dipendekkan cerita maka terang benderanglah our yard. Alhamdulillah.
Clear otak aku bila bukak pintu rumah ni.
Segar rasanye.
Luar dah mcm halaman rumah manusia. =P

Aku sedar by getting rid of some of the greens maknanye makin sikit pokok2 yg nak get rid of carbon dioxide. But we hafta balance the fire risks now dah masuk summer & peak summer blom menunjukkan taringnye lagi. At least bila yard dah clean kurang la sket pergeseran dedaun kering/segar & spark any fire. I noticed last yr some of the pokok hangus dlm panas above 43°c tu. Better be careful this time. Well, all in all its gonna be a vicious cycle anyways.. poor us living in the warmth of the globe all coz our own fault.

Unfortunately takde gambar of the yard before & after. Malu lah! Huduh sgt so mmg takde keinginan nak amik gambar =P

Ada lagi sket2 nak kena trim & fix. We'll continue next week. Hari ni dah sakit badan gila. My hands pon dah terketar-ketar je bila nak tulis or type. Tapi aku puas coz senaman membina otot berjaya. Tambah lagi dgn 50 sit ups semalam & hari ni. Ada la stop2 sket coz tak larat dah kerja kuat siangnye. Takpe, aku aim nak buat sit ups (and push ups) sampai lebih kurang 100 setiap hari non-stop like I used to masa karate dulu. Teringat kat one of my uncles used to buat 150-200 sit ups a day masa dia muda2 dulu & now he's in his 50s, kempis je perut dia (ada la kendur skit2).

Oh ye, smlm aku masak chicken pomegranate as a reward for our success.
Ni inspiried by Restaurant City menu dlm FB. Tapi tu guna lamb & hafta bake it, kami guna ayam je. Malas nak bakar guna oven mengah tu.
Hasilnye bleh tahan. =)

Nampaknye minggu ni byk projects nak diselesaikan. Better get my head straight =)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Selamat pulang hubby =)

Hubby called when early this morning saying that he's already in Brisbane. Dia transit kat sana from LA. Seb baik, lama tak dgr suara dia, considering that he called everyday thru Skype masa dia kat sana. Tapi understandable coz dia bertolak from LA I think somewhere mlm Jumaat or pagi Sabtu, but coz dia kena cross the international time border between Au & U.S sana so dia akan rugi 1 day bila balik sini. So, will be picking him up around midday jap lagi. YAY!

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Aku bangun pagi dgn badan yg sakit2. Dah 2 pagi dah badan aku sakit2. Mebbie coz dok drive sana sini esp to the airport.. amik Dr MJ, gi kerja, ni jap lagi nak amik hubby, then mlm gi hantar Dr MJ gi airport lagi. And I've also restarted my intensive exercises 3,4 hari yg lalu. Selama 2,3 minggu I've let myself go again, mebbie coz stress keja kot. This time I'm stressed about work, I sorta jadi tak lalu nak buat apa2. Just nak rehatkan badan & otak. Ada la dlm sekali dua aku senaman berat dlm tempoh 2,3 minggu tu, itupon masa cuti 2 minggu hari tu. Pas tu terus jadi malas gila & continue with light stretching in da morning. No wonder baju mmg terasa ketat je. In terms of my weight, mmg dah lost 4kg kalau compare with the 8kg weight gain masa raya puasa hari tu. But I suppose I've to actually tone up part2 gelebeh2 tu so that I could be comfortable in my clothes again. Plus, aku pon dah tua, so metabolism makin turun & I do feel like I am not supposed to let myself go like this despite being stressed & anxious.

To be honest, I dont think psychiatry is ever for me.
I cant remember how many times I've said this, but it is the truth. I hate oncalls & the interruptions I get at home when I'm oncall. To me, once I get back home, I dont want to think about the hospital or the patients anymore. I dont want any strings attached. I want my life outside medicine. And I hate the fact that I hafta go to this stupid hearing every 2 wks and their massive paperwork prior to each hearing. Next week I haf 3 hearings, and the report for those 3. Benci betul.

The only thing that I like about the rotation is that I like the team that I work with... aaaand the fact that most of them think that I have such a babyface that I am probably in my early 20s. Hence the way they talk to me.. 'babytalk' (all those.. honey, sweetie, darling, manja2 way of talking to me) !... despite the fact that most of them also know that I am in my late 20's. Hehehehhehehe.. ok la tu. Patutnye pon aku in my early 20s considering I'm still a very junior HMO =P But hey, the figures dont really matter. My reproductive system might not agree with me, but age is just another number that yg penting kita mesti berjiwa muda =)
(part of my coping mechanism)
And it always makes my day bila kena buat referral & I get to talk to those people that I've known from physical medicine world. Walaupon aku kinda menci with the fact that my team now has such critical psych patients (termasukla yg 'disinhibited'), tapi looking at the bright side, because of these patients I get to speak to my 'physical medicine' frens. E.g. last week was very stressful, talking to my ED bosses, medical registrar, surg people, neuro, etc. really made my day. Esp. the ortho registar who made the effort to call me back 3 days in a row about this psychotic lady who kept on falling & injured her bones. Thanks to u guys that I'm still sane. At least takde la terasa trapped sgt kat facility tu.

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Dr. D, Ly & TTM are going to Chaddy mall this a.m. Aku nak gi amik hubby from the airport today so cant really join them. Kalau ikutkan, aku naaak sangat spend time with Dr. D coz dah lama tak jumpa but keadaan tak mengizinkan. The fact that they drove all the way thru from Adelaide.. whoa.. hebat betul. But takpe la, biar la dia spend time with family. Situationnye very limited & I respect that. Baby, family, time. Dun wanna be selfish to spend time with her. Mebbie next time. I'm glad that aku dpt jumpa dia smlm even tho sekejap. (And oh.. I really like their black Camry.. macho gilaa!)

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Me now reflux lagi coz makan byk sgt smlm :P (padan muka diri sendiri)
Seb baik ada PPi & Mylanta double strength tu. And some ginger tea. So kira under control la.
Ni nak siapkan list brg to my parents & also list perfume for Dr. MJ's mum.
Laundry, my reading list & hearing reports are waiting for me, but I'm just going to take it bit by bit so that aku tak mati from being overwhelmed.

Cant wait to see hubby :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I LOVE YOU!

~~~
12th December 2009
~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dearie HUBBY
Thanks for the love & life that we've shared together,
Semoga panjang umur & murah rezeki alwiz,
May we last forever as one, InsyaAllah,
Hugs & kisses,
Love you lots.

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Abah sent a beautiful birthday wish to hubby :) thanks lots. Love u. It will definitely make hubby's day. Alas he is on the plane rite now, so he'll read it when he's able to.. soon :)
Thanks heaps.

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To Z. Happy Birthday too. Take care. Glad to know that u share my hubby's birth day, :) Its been great knowing u.

Also to Z. & Imr. happy anniversary :D
Semoga bahagia ke akhir hayat.
Its a good date, isnt it? :D
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Hari ni gi bbq kat rumah Ly. Its been gloomy & cold je this week. But today I can see the sun is starting to come out. Hopefully it stays that way. Thanks Ly. for organising this.

Yaaay... happy hour.
(wish hubby was here tho.. he is celebrating his birthday on the plane)


Thursday, December 10, 2009

Get geared up.. puhhleeaazzee..

Hehehehe.. that title is especially dedicated to me.

Nampaknye sejak seminggu ni mmg tak berminat langsung nak menyentuh hal2 psych ni. Bohsan. I cant take it. Kat tpt kerja dah bekerja keras. Pas tu kat rumah nak study lagi? Aisshhh.. bosan tul. Minggu ni sangat kontroversi. Have been having arguments wit people.. pathology, radiology, interpreter, patients, the stoopid surgical resident... u name it. Frustrating.
Yang pasal interpreter tu ialah interpreter utk Auslan (Australian sign language). Tak professional langsung; komplen pasal menyampah be in a psych facility, tak nak dok lama2 masa interview pt, tak interpret the right way, tak nak interpret some of patient's messages, blablabla, komplen sana-sini.. bodo betul.
And I seriously cannot see the same patient for more than 3days.. here in psych, involuntary patients mostly will be inpatients for weeks! D'oh!

Sabar je la...

My progress.. rasanye I'm better than last week. Even tho everything is still making me annoyed & restless tapi I think I am more efficient kot. Walaupon lebih slow & lembap, tapi I know I've been trying.

Its the 5th night now hubby not here with me. Dia dah habaq yg dia dah beli some stuff for me. Yay!! Dia ckp yg his presentation went very well. I'm so proud of him. Well done! Love ya!

This week jugak aku membusykan diri dgn internet & foncalls to M'sia. Macam2 hal kat sana.

Then went to Mazda workshop yesterday for a mini check up for my hensem baby. Part of the welcome pack. Last nite went to have dinner kat rumah member. Org2 kat ward ckp aku patut pegi Xmas party kat spital. But didnt go. Kurang berminat nak tgk org2 tu mabuk2 & make a fool of themselves. Plus aku dah lama nak tgk Cold Case kat tv.

Dr. D & fam r coming to Melb for the weekends. Driving down. Yay! Seronok nak jumpa dia. But at the same time, I'm kinda worried for mum & baby nak jalan jauh2. Hopefully both mum & bub are well everything.

Saturday ada bbq/hi-tea at Ly's place. Me going to make my 'ol potato salad.

Sunday hubby balik Melbourne.. YAY! Cant wait.
Same night, Dr. MJ balik M'sia.. huhuhuhu.. jelesnye..

Well, tomorrow is another day, same 'ol boring job on the ward. Anyhow, hopefully everything's fine for me as a conclusion to another week, another page of my life working as a doctor...

Monday, December 07, 2009

The start of the climb...

Like wat I sed yesterday, hari ni nak start fresh. Gi kerja awal semata-mata nak siapkan report for the Mental Health Review Board. Ada hearing today. Alhamdulillah takde la se-stress mcm hari Jumaat lepas masa aku tgh siapkan kerja tu. Mebbie coz dah nangis abis2 kot. The hearing itself wasnt as stressful as I thought it would be. Seb baik.
Like alwiz, Mondays & Fridays are alwiz the busiest days ever in a week. And the MHRB has to be on a Monday.. bleh sungguh. Dah la ada meetings mcm2, dgn new admissions. Yucks! I'm back to my busy ward job! Hmm...

Everyone has been very supportive. Alhamdulillah. Thinking back why aku breakdown Jumaat lalu, mebbie coz anxious about the car, then sedih hubby akan berlepas ke California (nak ikut!!), pas tu pasal work loads sumernyer tu.. then mebbie jugak pasal menstrual issue kot. Mebbie jugak aku masih blom lagi overcome terkujat from ED back to ward job. Huhuhu..

Ckp pasal tu, aku dah tau rotation apa I will start with for next year's Critical Care job. YAY! First few months kerja kat ED, the place I love. Hahaha. So kena la aku start study physical medicine balik PLUS mental health stuff. Hohohoho.. boleh ke?

Oh ye, hubby called 2x from California. Dia ckp kat sana sejuks. Seb baik dia bawak his winter coat. Hope he's well over there.

Missing him :(

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Me & myself

Just got home from sending hubby to the airport. He's travelling to the U.S. for a conference, will be coming back next week arriving to Melbourne on next Sunday. Sedihnyee... :(

And I'm back to my excruciatingly boring job :(

The car.. :) love it.
I knew that it drinks petrol like water, not like my old tiny car. Will hafta be careful on driving so that I could achieve the most echonomical driving pattern. And oh.. am bringing my car to the service centre for a mini check-up this week.

Huhuhu... back to my boring job :(
Hmm... trying my best to look on the bright side.. the job is day shift, with 1x a fortnight on calls. Good team. And its not in the bloody shit hole like last yr where I had to stay apart from hubby for a whole week in the middle of no where & work in the worst condition ever considering that this is a 'developed' country. Yeah, at least this is a metropolitan area not like that shit hole :(
If I survived that shit hole, I can survive this.. huhuhu..

Anyways, gotta get back on track. Too much rollercoaster last week. Its gonna be hard but hafta face it.
Just gotta be strong..

(Segan to admit this but I kinda like the Miley Cyrus- The Climb song)
I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming,
but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but

No I'm not breaking I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin',
and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, but


There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

Keep on movin'

Keep climbin'
Keep faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith...

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Zoom zoom zoooomm =D

Yes.. thats what I'm feeling right now :)

Picked up my new baybeh at the showroom.. finally.
A Mazda3 Hatch. Black. Yaahooooo!! Seronoknyee...

All the hard work pays off now.. alhamdulillah.
Terubat gak all the dukacita minggu ni. Ni yg terasa semangat (sikit) nak gi kerja ni :P
Its quite a new experience driving this car. Its a jump from 1.0L engine to a 2.0L engine car. Double. It needs getting used to. Sooooo smooth bila drive laju. Best sangat. I just need to biasakan diri dgn kelajuan dia, anticipation of the distance, etc. Seb baik dah drive kereta Dr. H., its 1.8L car.. not much difference at all.
Tayar depan kanan
Tayar depan kiri
Tayar blakang kanan
Tayar blakang kiri
Saaayaaaaannnng pakwe sekor ni :D hahahahahhaha.. dah abis peluk, ride, kiss sumer dah :X
Zoom zoom zooooommm =D

Happy Birthday Mak! =X =X =X

Happy birthday, mak =)
semoga panjang umur,
murah rezeki selalu,
thanks for everything,
love you, alwiz.

hugss & kisses :x:x:x


Friday, December 04, 2009

That pain... d'oh!

Had an outburst at work today :((
Overwhelmed & felt dumb (I still feel dumb) & cried at work... untuk kesekian kalinye..
Had a 1hour plus consultation with my boss coz I cried.. he found out that I cried in the toilet (ni mesti nurse2 sibuks kasi tau ni). All in all, I cried coz I was disappointed in myself that I feel like I'm not in control of lotsa situations in here, like I was in ED. I hate not knowing what's going on around me, hate not being able to do anything about it, etc. I feel like I'm not up on par with everyone's expectation, I feel bad to ask for help..blablabla..
He must be diagnosing sumthing during this consultation.. like OCD, borderline, etc, which I couldnt care less. He doesnt really like it that I actually kept this for ~4wks until I had a break down today. Well, I did tell someone in ED that I wasnt coping well in psychiatry.
Its good that my boss knows this. And he has been very supportive, just like the other team members.
I guess I'm lucky that all the team members are very supportive & nice towards me.

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Wednesday: Had my driving test in the morning. I was the first examinee of the day, dgn this Indian lady yg my fren Dr. J had & failed coz she's very hmm... garang. When I first saw her, I thought.. "great, dgn makcik ni plak.. adohai... tak nak la fail!"
.. alhamdulillah I passed on that day. Alhamdulillah drove quite well (lagi berdisiplin more than setiap hari aku drive). Tapi makcik tu cam biasa la, ada je nak komen kan, agaknye dah takde menda lain nak komen pasal aku drive. Sedangkan dia dok main rambut la, spec la itu la ini la kat cermin. Hmm... apa-apa hal pon, dah pas dah pon. Hahahah.
I was quite excited coz it was a first trial & passed.. seb baik amik 3 hour of comprehensive revision with an instructor, the many hours of practising with Dr. H's car & doa from everyone.
Thanks guys.
So now I'm officially a Victorian driver. =)

Went to celebrate that night after sending back Dr. H's car at her place, went for dinner at Sakura Restaurant in Knox, a cool & yummy Japanese restaurant. Malangnye my gastritis & GORD were playing up. Was in agony while at the restaurant that I couldnt actually eat. I finished all my immediate gastritis meds at home & had some PPi but pain didnt come down. I was actually driving Dr. H's car with the pain. Seb baik dah slamat dlm garage dia. Hubby had to go to a closeby chemist to get me a double strength Mylanta, but the pain didnt go away immediately (well.. I knew this but saja, mmg tak sabar). Had to tapau food.. sayang betul.
Came back home & slept myself better.. bleh.

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Thursday: Fon call from the Mazda car dealer that my car would be ready as soon as I have the insurance settled. So had that done while at work. Then a few more fon calls.. then voilaa!! I'll get my car Saturday a.m. YAAAYYY!!.. alhamdulillah.
Its on my mum's birthday.. so in illusion, its mum's car.. in reality, its mine! Hahahahhaha... but deep down, I sorta wanted to call her to come over, so that I could bring her jalan-jalan with my new car. Or any of my family.
Then it hit me that hubby wont be around to send me to the showroom to pick up the car coz he's somewhere at the moment for a workshop & will be returning home Saturday arvo :(
Oh no!!!
Luckily I called RL & see if she could, & she sed yes. Alhamdulillah. Seb baik ada family kat sini. Thanks lots RL. =) Nanti I bawak u jalan2 okay, lets hope that ur baby gem bgn awal, then bleh I bawak both of u jalan2 naik my car. Thanks a lot. Hugs.

Went to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 3D at Chadstone. Superb. Excellent. Reaaally loved that movie! Kalau ada Wii games memang aku nak sambar satu. Tak pernah aku rasa cam nak beli games of any cool animation movies that I've seen before e.g. Kungfu Panda, Up, etc. But this one its different... coz there's FOOD! ahhahahaha... best best.. highly recommended for family fun.

BUT.. my gastritis & GORD datang lagi.. less severe. But it was actually affecting me afta that movie. Again, after some meds, I slept myself into it.

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Bang.. today had a breakdown with multiple symptoms of gastritis & GORD.
Looking back, no wonder I was having those symptoms since end of last week. I know that if I ate too much sampai takleh bernafas, or amik NSAIDs, or makan apples masa perut kosong, or minum soda too much, I akan dpt all the pain. But as far as I remember.. takde kot I overdose myself dgn NSAIDs or other things.. mebbie except for some soda, tapi tak byk pon.
Now it all came back to me that its because of STRESS that I've been having all these symptoms.
Yes, it must be it...
Stress mmg 1 independent factor that contributes to peptic ulcer & GORD & yg sekaum dgnnye.
I kno I've been stressing out in the past month.. mainly coz of work with this new rotation, driving test, buying a car & in-laws.

Oh well.. I certainly hafta manage that properly.. hate being in pain.. have been having all this since I was 8... thats like 20yrs now.. I know everything about it already to know if ada any prodromal symptoms & what triggers it. Should have known better than stressing out too much.
Oh well...

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I'm actually at work now, trying to finish some paperwork, havent started for the past hour, coz am playing around with the internet, saje nak rehat otak jap.. kejap lagi aku start.
Memang nak balik pon. Tapi hubby takde kat rumah. So takpe la stayback kejap kat tpt kerja.
Sket je lagi ni :)

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Yaaahooooo... esok amik kereta baru! =)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Salam Aidiladha to everyone =)

Aloha, its been a week since I last wrote sth here. Masa tu panas membara :P blom hangus je lagi. Hehhehee..
Today suam-suam kuku, but kilat berdentum-dentam. Thunderstorm.

Weekends hari tu gi cherry picking kat Cherry Haven, in the Dandenongs. Memang haven sungguh. Kembung makan cherry hari-hari. Haha. Best gila.

Then the next day ada housewarming rumah Dr. H. Hmmm... dalam seronok-seronok makan tu, ada plak orang tu nak promote barang2 direct selling dia & siap ajak join utk jadi jurujuals (macam pyramid style la). Its food supplements (brand USANA), especially utk kuruskan badan, which I am very much not interested. Like I sed many many times, nak slim kena la jaga makan seimbang & exercise. Tu je caranye, bukan short cuts ni. Aku tak ckp la yg aku tak berminat nak beli, aku ckp baik-baik la kan that not at this time. Tapi hekeleh, bleh lagi pushy nak suruh beli jugak.. Macam-macam dia cakap, ada dalam MIMS la, better than any other shelves products la, etc. But, yeah, aku tak minat laaaa!! Those things might be good, but, sorry, not interested. She & family can teruskan amik menda tu if they want. Hmm.. as a doctor, I value very much informed knowledge of any products, especially yg kena telan ni, before I commit. For this one, hubby & I have actually done our research and we r happy not to be involved :)

Me busy with driving lessons & practising, and also studying my dear 'ol Psych stuff. Urrhh!

Hafta admit, driving lessons make me exhausted. Teringat zaman blaja drive lebih kurang >10yrs ago. Aduh, lepas lesson je balik tu mesti letih gila, lenguh kaki & otak sumer. I feel the same way now, cuma I'm more comfortable with driving than back then. Ye la, dulu tu pangkat 'L', meaning Learner (or to me.. I was more like a 'L'embu). Now the same exhaustion, same otak tepu semua, same emotionally draining experience.

Me taking the extra 3hours of lesson sebab nak kasi comprehensive revision of road rules, etc before the actual test day. The test itself is to convert my M'sian driving license to a Victorian license.

Like alwiz, asalkan ujian ke apa2 test ke, aku mesti dgn darah gemuruhnye, seram sejuk, stressing out, takleh tido, anhedonia, blablabla. Nasib badan betul la aku gi book test tu kat tpt yg terkenal dgn kegarangan/ kehampasan tukang testnye. Harap-harap la aku bleh lulus, kalau tak cemerlang, bagus sket dp fail pon jadila. Bertambah-tambah stress aku ni now.

The comprehensive lessons I took tu kat city, bukan kat tpt yg amik test ni. Suggested by a fren. Best instructor dia. He made me feel confident to drive. Aku guna kereta dia yg jauh lagi bagus dp kereta kodok aku tu. Which is the same as the car that I'm borrowing from Dr. H. to drive for the test. Well, any car is better than my kodok :P
Anyways, dia kata aku ada good driving skills & good car control, cuma kena confident & tenang fikiran je time tu. Kalau aku maintain cara aku drive, park, etc cam masa lessons tu, aku bleh pass dgn cemerlangnye. Harap-harap la cuaca elok, fikiran aku tenang, traffic pagi2 tu elok, semuanye elok on the test day tu, InsyaAllah.

Aku praktis setiap hari dgn kereta Dr. H. Meletihkan... mental & fizikal. Huhuhu.. I guess kena la biasakan dp sekarang, since nanti nak drive kereta besar anyways, bukan utk test ni je. Ahaks ;)

Letih-letih... dgn study phsychiatry tu lagi. Hish.

Anyways, selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to everyone.. :) Take care.. perut =P

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Kepanasan!

Panasnyeee hari ni. Its only 35°c max today, blom lagi like early this year when it was 47°c-50°c! My tapak tangan & tapak kaki dah peluh2 dah. Kipas is turned on 1 first, seb baik kipas tu power gila. Because of the scary experience early this yr, I've kinda prepared this house a bit, like having lotsa water in stock, the fans, tutup blinds awal2 bila dah tgh hari tu, etc. Harap-harap we all survive this year's summer la hendaknye.. harap-harap the temperature is milder than last time.. huhuhuhu...

Went to Chadstone Shopping Centre last nite. Saja-saja je nak tgk the opening of the new wing. The multimillion dollar worth of renovation & extension. Mostly luxury brands je yg
banyak, yg kurang luxury pon kebanyakannye yg tahap mahal. Banyak gile security guards kat new wings tu. Mebbie coz of diorang buat pameran handbags/ shoes/ etc kat walkway kot.

Hubby, Dr. MJ & I went there pakai baju gi pasar je. Hehehehe.. ye la, Chaddy tu like.. sebelah rumah je. :P
Anyways, saja je gi masuk kedai2 mahal ni. Nak tgk diorang layan ke tak. Fuiyoo.. kagum tgk the crowds, sooooo different from us all. Memang gaya exclusive sungguh. Ooooo.. rupa-rupanye ni la gaya org2 kaya-raya yg slalu beli brand2 ni ye. Terasa kampung sungguh aku ni. Hahaha. Tapi the salespersons semua senyum, tanya how r u, etc. Anyhow, terasa lemas pun ada coz ramai org cam aku ni yg berpusu-pusu saja je masuk nak tgk kedai2 mahal ni. My early observation of the items themselves... design yg bosan, which I dont think I will spend my money on any of these items. Plus.. aku tak rasa aku nak impress anyone by actually having any of them & actually showing them off to the public. Lemas dok situ lama-lama.

Teringat kat M'sia when I saja-saja masuk dlm kedai mahal-mahal ni. Some kedai dont even want to buka pintu for us kalau diorang tgk kita pakai baju yg kurang glamour ni. But to me, bleh, aku yg nak masuk, kalau tak nak buka pintu takpe, aku bleh buka sendiri. Apa.. ingat aku takde duit ke nak beli.. it just that probably I'm a little wiser in spending my money (quote from a fren). Kalau masuk kedai tu of course la nak pegang2, nak try sana sini kan. Aku akan slambanye pegang2 any bags or shoes that I like, asking the price, the size, etc... executing my consumer's right. Tak semestinye aku nak beli kan. Kalau the salesperson tu dah jeling-jeling, aku akan buat selamba derk je la, sambil senyum kat diorang even tho diorang tak nak senyum kat aku. Bukan diorang mati pon kalau aku usik bag2 mahal tu. D'oh! Heheehe... Like I sed, my consumer's right, and I dont really care, dude. Aku nak tgk, sukati aku la kan. Hehhehehe...

Hmmm.. tomorrow's the day for me to return one of the library books. Psychiatry book. I havent even finished 1 chapter yet. I feel lost each time baca buku tu. Bleh. Jap lagi nak baca la sket. Harap-harap masuk la sket. Tak nak la jadi bodo kat tpt kerja. But.. psych? Huhuhuhu... baca je la, nak buat cam mana.. huhuhuhu...

Aaahh.. I want my new car... zoom zoom zoom.. waiting is just excruciating...

Panasnyeee...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I am... officially on my weird-annual-leave

Hmmm.. dah lama tak tulis kat sini. Its like mmmm a week ago. A few things happened from then til now.

My psychiatry rotation.
I was still falling asleep during patient interviews, but to a much less severe extent. Still terhangguk-hangguk time interview especially dgn ppl with personality disorders. There were some stuff relating to physical medicine issues, & thats when I paid much more attention. :D
Stayed back a bit on Friday to do handover for the person who's covering for my 2 week leave. Apparently the person who's doing that quite enjoyed doing psych before, so he was looking forward to do it again. Soooo different from me la kan. Nevertheless, people in psych team are very supportive & understanding, so I think I will enjoy doing the rotation, provided I do some readings & studying while on leave.

Badminton.
Played wit TTM & TTD. Lemah betul stamina. Baru seminit dua dah mengah semacam. Hehhehehe.. bukan apa, aku ni malas bebeno. Sebab malas tu la jadi lemah tu. Teringat zaman uni dulu, I joined karate. Because females sket gila, kitorang tak dpt excuse masa training. Kalau lelaki buat 50 push ups, kami pon kena buat gak. Kalau lelaki buat 200 sit ups, kami pon sama. Disebabkan I was alwiz stressing up dgn training, on the days takde training aku slalu praktis all the moves including the push ups dan jugak other cardio exercises (swim/jog). Looking back, aku puas hati aku buat yg tu dulu. Now sebab kerja dijadikan alasan utk bermalas-malasan, so aku rasa aku agak muncit if to compare wit before.
Kalau ikutkan, with semangat waja boleh je buat cam dulu kan ;)

Helping hands.
Helped a fren, Dr. H, moving out of her old house. Penat gila la coz barang2 dia besau2. Anyhow, I'm glad she moved out of that house coz hidup dia selama ni dah cukup terseksa dgn kerenah the weirdo housemates. Wooo.. gila boleh nangis kalau diingat-ingatkan.
Muscles.. here I come! ahhahahahahah.

Gardening.
Snipping the jungle outside memang best. Terasa mcm tumbuh muscles. Puas hati. Its another good way to hilangkan stress jugak. Clear dah my backyard & tpt parking kereta tu. Tak sempat buat semua hari tu, but I'll make sure this coming weekends kami sempat buat together. Its spring & everything is growing fast. So tak nak la ternak ular/ biawak semua kan. Kena clearkan no matter wat.

Car.
Went looking for a car these past 2 weeks. Utk persediaan summer akan datang. Dun want to mati dlm kereta with my current car. Its a very exhausting experience. Beli kereta ni bukan mcm beli handbag/ kasut. Its a big commitment, it involves a large amount of money. So kena la cari kereta that comes with a good deal. Kalau la aku ni kaya gila, aku takkan tension2 cam ni. Dah lama gua sambar Toyota Prius tu satu or Mazda 6 Luxury Sports Hatch or Mazda CX7.
Tapi nak buat cam mana, aku takde la sekaya itu.. yet! :) Bersyukur je la dgn apa yg aku mampu now. :)

Visa.
Final stage. Dah hantar the documents. Harap2 la settle soon. This is one other reason that could affect me buying a car for now. And other things, including specialty training. InsyaAllah everything goes well.

Driving license.
Waarrgghhh! Aku still blom settle lagi yg ni. Tension gua. I hafta change my M'sian driving license to Vic license, esp. bila visa dah settle. Takutnye nak amik test.

UPSR.
Results out tomorrow. Aku doakan my brother gets an excellent result for this. Amiin. InsyaAllah. Will call home tonite.


Chadstone.
Today is the grand opening of the final wing. Am going to buang masa, tenaga & duit there with hubby & Dr. MJ. Saja2. Even tho I kno I'm not in need of anything urgent for now. Eh... wait a minute. I do need a new kettle coz last week I blew our only kettle off. So now kena guna alternative lain. There, ada gak alasan best nak gi Chaddy. Selain tu nak gi beli stuff for Dr. H for her housewarming this weekend.

Til then, nanti gua update lagi wat we found there at Chadstone. Ciao.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Kejap Ada, Kejap Takde...

Its day 2 of work & I'm still alive.
I keep on falling asleep during interviews with patients.. which is not good at all, especially in my bosses' eyes. Its bad that I look attentive each time we begin, then comes 10mins, tic toc tic toc.. mata pon kuyuuu je, pas tu all the voices go fuzzy.. Suddenly I hear my boss thank the patient for their time with us. Aduh!

I'm lost on each attempt of doing the discharge summaries. My brain freezes when I start to flip through the notes.

Well, in ED, if a patient starts to be vague & rambling, I could easily redirect the converstion of what the focus of the current ED admission is.. more on why they are here in ED now rather than seeing a GP or early on into the condtion/ symptoms. But here in psych, I cant really do that, can I? The patients talking, appearance, behaviour, contents, etc are the things that I actually hafta pay attention on... and it doesnt help with me having a super short attention span & impatient. I think thats because I'm soooo used to ED that I'm not used to this new environment. Hmmm... I miss ED so much. :(

I do haf to go to work on weekends but only for 4 hours, then on call for 24hrs. If I am on call, weekdays or weekends, I actually hafta be there, physically, at the hospital if I do get called. Even if its 3am in the morning... Adus!!

Fuh, meetings, discharge summaries, lengthy collateral histories, timely interviews, on calls, linkings, follow ups, etc. All these things that I rarely do in ED, unless kalau terpaksa. E.g. patient with advanced dementia who comes from a high level care nursing home. Have I told anyone that I'm not that keen on working on the wards.. again?

Its a total turn around from ED!

Ckp pasal meeting, teringat tadi meeting dekat dgn BHH Centro. Ingat nak naik kereta, tapi teringatkan parking & keretaku yg sedikit hampes tu, so aku jalan la kaki. Panas gila, but aku control jelita dgn memakai sunnies ku ke sana. Seb baik kasut sedikit comfy. Lama gila kena jalan tgh2 panas tu. Abis la, hangus la lepas ni. 15-20mins jalan pegi (and the same duration utk balik semula ke ward). Sesat plak tu. Aduh. Ingat nak naik cab je tadi. Tapi bila teringatkan kang ada yg panggil aku badak ke, gajah ke (cam waktu obese dulu), maka aku slamba je la. (Eleh, badak & gajah macho je dlm panas tu... so takleh la panggil aku dgn gelaran2 bertuah tu kan).

All these symptoms are transitional I believe. I'm not nervous each time I walk into the psych ward. Well, I suppose thats a good start.

Anyho, I'm glad that everyone in psych team is soooo nice & patient with me being impatient & nervous all the time (nervous of myself losing it, pretty much). And kinda think of it, I am glad to be here than having to spend the next 3 months on the medical/ surgical wards.. which is more exhausting & draining (emotionally, mentally, physically, socially) than anything else. The environment here is definitely more relaxed than that of an actual physical medicine wards, & of course ED.

And more, I'm glad that I can actually have breakie & dinner with hubby, also some fun weekends.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

New'ies'


New month.. November is here
New rotation.. starting Monday. I am sad thinking that I am back on the ward, doing those yucky ward jobs... sedihnyeeee meninggalkan ED :(
New set of contact lenses :)
New hobby.. merepek-repek kat forums :P
New light.. in alkisah jerawatku :D definitely new skin now, not the angry one.. now its the smooth, fresh, recovering skin.. sukaaaa! :D
New stuff on Restaurant City, FB :P
New food tonite? Hmmmm... kena fikir jap. Tapi dah lama dah tak makan makanan masak sendiri.
New attitude? Hmmmm... ntah, mcm terpaksa je coz considering the new rotation is NOT my cup of tea, kalau boleh memang tak nak buat >:P

apa ntah aku merekek ni. ciaaooo.. will update soon

Saturday, October 31, 2009

=) Kegilaan baru

Kegilaan baru saya ialah Cari.com.my. Terasa I'm very connected to M'sia tanah tumpah darah, air mataku. Ni sumer pasal sejak berjaya mendaftarkan diri (setelah penat berusaha 3,4 kali tanpa hasil since last year). Heheheheh. Sampai hubby pon dah naik pening setiap hari, all the time saya dok belek forum tu. Tapi my dear 'ol blog ni alwiz in my heart. =)
YES!!

My favourite forums are:
- Definitely pompuan stuff
- Health stuff, especially short cases & others
- Of course gossip artis tempatan coz nak tau perkembangan kat M'sia. Takde la rasa terpinggir bila balik M'sia baca newspaper/ tgk news/ org borak2. Haha.
- Sometimes isu semasa, technology, religion, etc.

Bravo Cari!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Halloween in the U.S.A it is today, the 31st Oct. Here in Australia tak femes pon upacara ni, unless, like one of my colleagues sed ".. my religion is Witch Craft, so yes, Halloween is a big thing for me.. I wish I didnt hafta go to work, Halloween is very important in my religion" Hahahahah.. dia gurau je tu. Tapi saya teringat masa kecik-kecik kat UK dulu, its a famour celebration too. So kalau kat U.S/ U.K sure seronok tgk all the costumes & candies kan. Mesti comel kanak-kanak dress up as a mobile fon, pisang, barney, etc. Cute!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me doing night shift still until tomorrow night. Then there'll be 4 more arvo shifts 'til I finish my Emergency rotation. I am sure not ready to part with ED yet. Tak puas lagi kat ED ni. And dah terasa sedih ya amat terpaksa leave.. especially knowing that next rotation is the legendary Psych!! duh! Huhuhu...

Ciao.. gotta get ready to work.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Long time no see

Lamanye tak tulis dlm ni. Soooo many things are happening at the moment. Tak tau mana nak citer dulu.
In summary:
-Balik M'sia hari tu. =( I'm still homesick.

-Hafta study (ya ya.. dp dulu lagi, tapi tak jugak buatnye) coz ada assessment next week.

-Hafta study (d'uh!) coz the after next going to Psychiatry rotation (YUCKS!).

-Looking around to relocate. Mcm-mcm pe'el tpt ni.

-Looking around to shop stuff.

-Hafta settle the final stage of my PR status.

-Hutang driving test!! I haf about 1 month to do the test before kena buat semula those yucky computer tests. Tapi biasa la HR hampas tak kasi-kasi lagi my next rotation's timetable.

-Oh ya! Went to Rhododendron Garden kat Dandenong Ranges last Saturday. Took many pictures, banyak gila jalan & very relaxing catching up with frens. And kalau tak kurus-kurus jugak tak tau la. Haaiiyoooo!

-It has been nearly 3 weeks I'm actively dieting combining with some sort of exercises.. to lose my extra 8kg weight gain.. BOOOO!!! Now I realize that dah tua2 ni kena bubuh extra effort to lose just a few miligrams.. huhuhu... seksanye. Tak turun-turun gak. Ada la turun dlm 1kg kot since I started this so called programme kurus. Hampes je.
Dulu ingat lagi early last yr I lost ~8kg in 6wks time doing surgical rotations. My frens ckp buat surgical rotation mmg stressful tu la pasal kurus cepat. Now I'm doing the rotation that I like, tu la happy manjang. Ye la kot. Ni coming psych rotation yg aku menyampah ni, hopefully kurus la cepat. Coz ada incident memalukan kat tpt kerja last week yg pasti menghantui hidup aku sampai akhir hayat (kalau tak kena dementia).
Aku kurang kisah la kalau naik sekilo dua. Tapi ni dah sampai tak muat most of my work cloths... amendanye tu. Dah la now musim suam, my baju summer mostly 'kecik' sket. Kalau winter bleh la sorok dgn jaket kan. Haha. Aiiyooo..

- Urgh! Jerawats! Now I'm really depressed. Dah la gemuks, jerawat plak tu. Kureng bijak lagi, dah la kena buat psych rotation =(( Huhuhu... depressive episode betul.

Anyways, dah la tu. Tulis menda2 ni buat aku tensen je. Til then. Chiao.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Aaaahh...

Finally its weekend...

Its time to catch up with sleep...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Kebosanan... lets do another survey =P

Dah lama gua tak tulis sini. Masa kat M'sia hari tu, kehidupan sangat busy.. enjoy sana-sini, so macam takde masa plak nak mengarang ni. Now dah balik sini, terasa malas coz I'm not well since balik hari tu. Ni pun dpt MC dp doctor ni. Dah la sejuk, memang takde mood langsung. Pas tu internet bangang ni, lembap nak mampos. Selalu jadi cam ni time hujan lebat, and hubby plak ckp cam ada org curi line kitorang ke apa. Tension gua takleh main Restaurant City kat FB buat sementara waktu.. adoh! rugi la restoran gua!!

Anyways, ni fun survey gua found on FB. Menarik gak. Nanti-nanti gua sambung tulis pasal cuti-cuti Malaysia itu hari okaay.

Fill out this fun 20 Name Something In Your Home Questions Survey and then share it with your friends.

that you use everyday?
- my skin care products, toothbrush, toilet rolls, towels, etc. ahhaha

that you can find in your bathroom AND in your kitchen?
- rolls, floor mats, water taps, hand soap, lights, etc.

that you hear everyday?
- MI, tv, birds outside, the annoying voice of my neighbours singing

that is hanging on your wall that means the most to you?
- some old kad raya & the paper lizards

that reminds you of someone?
- sooo many things

that smells good?
- my perfume collections, hubby's perfume collections, fresh laundry, the rain

that you can find in your bedroom AND in your living room?
- adapters, lights, tv, clocks, facial tissue, mags, books, papers, pens, my drugs

that you always decorate during the holidays?
- myself =D

that people see as soon as they walk in your front door?
- shoes, hubby's bike. That's why we use the kitchen door as our main door =P

that you wish was a different color?
- the light in my bedroom.. i hate yellow lights in the bedroom

that always sits on a counter in your kitchen?
- main one: a fruit bowl, water jugs/ bottles. The other side: tea/ coffee/ sugar

that was given to you by a family member? which family member?
- banyak sgt

that you can never seem to find when you need it?
- somethings all the time

(other then people) that you consider to be a little quirky (weird) looking?
- my car

that you put your feet on?
- the floor

that has a label on it?
- some of my things from zaman sekolah dulu

that you bought used?
- kereta bertuahku itu

There. Gua nak tag:
- TTM
- Lybeau
- Dr. D/ Newbie
- Am
- Adikku H3
- Fairuz
- Baini
- Azman

Sila-silalah ye, kalau rajin & takde kerja cam aku ni. Huhuhuhuhu...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Back to the Overseas =(


Hi there, its been a while since I last left my trail here. Tonight here I am again at the Changi airport, Singapore, waiting for my connection flight to Melbourne. Sedih la jugak, coz rasa tak cukup cuti kat KL, Malaysia. And terasa malas nak start kerja balik on Thursday.. duh! However, kinda glad that I will be meeting hubby again over there.

Kebosanan coz tak terasa nak makan coz kenyang gila lagi seharian siang tadi gi open house/ kenduri kahwin. Plus kinda URTI atm, lagi la kinda tak lalu nak makan. Nak nyopping pun takde rasa at this point. I hafta spend US$50 kejap lagi in da flight, to use the voucher given masa balik ke KL hari tu. Tak tau nak beli apa coz tadi tgk KrisShop cam kurang menarik je.
Tadi Alhamdulillah luggage lepas senang je, berat cuma 19.7kg, ches, kalau tau I could have added more! Hahahahah. Then the counter guy tu tersilap kasi boarding pas kat aku, masa tgh lepak kat Food Garden at KLIA dgn family terdengar la announcement panggil "Doctor.... pls return to counter ....". Berdebar2 jugak aku dibuatnye. Seb baik cuma pasal boarding pas je.

Anyways, til then. Aku better watch my time & keep going. Tak nak tertinggal flight ke apa. =( sedih plak ni. Entah bila la nak jumpa my family & tanah tumpah airku lagi ni. Haaiiii...

The Terminal 3, Changi Airport, food area..
mcm takde makanan halal je kat sini... sedih betol!

Kawasan arrival di Terminal 3, Changi Airport.
Sangat lengang... mebbie org gi makan or lepak or nyopping.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 1430H

Assalamualaikum semua, I'm at the Changi Airport waiting for transit flight to KL. It'll be soonish. Kebetulan plak ada perkhidmatan internet percuma kat merata2 sini. Best gila.

Byk gila brg yg aku terasa nak beli kat transit lounge ni. Bukan pasal murah. Tapi pasal the fact that now aku dah kerja & ada that 'plastic' card. Hehehehhehe. Didnt buy any tho, seb baik fikiran masih waras di saat-saat terakhir Ramadhan ini. Plus takde kudrat dah nak angkut hand luggage, even tho yg aku bawak ni takde la berat mana. (Aku pasti setan2 di seberang sana sedang melonjak kegembiraan.. tak lama lagi mereka merdeka... AllahuAkbar!)

Anyways, tadi dlm flight tak de byk songeh sgt. The entertainment unit kat tpt duduk aku tak berguna so SIA kasi compensation voucher US$50 utk blanja Kris Flyer shop. Hehehhehe.. aku ada la beli brg sket nak kasi kat sedara mara sana, tapi guna that 'plastic' card. On the way back to Melb nanti aku memborong plak.

Huhuhuhu.. tak sabar nak jumpa family & hubby di sanaaaaaaa.. hoooraaaaaayyyy!! Akan ku pasang lagu2 raya... rinduuuu... (baru perasan thn ni aku tak pasang lagu raya satu pon... coz my new comp takde lagu langsung!)

Apa-apa pun, saya di sini mengucapkan selamat menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri 1430H, starting tomorrow, insyaAllah. Minta maaf zahir dan batin. Semoga tahun-tahun akan datang lebih baik dp tahun-tahun sebelumnye utk semua. Take care lots. Jumpa lagi bila aku ada masa nak bertenggek di computer nanti.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Salam-salam Aidilfitri... soon =)

Sudah 20 hari kita semua berpuasa. Alhamdulillah. Lagi 10 hari, including today, to go until Hari Raya. Lagi 9 hari aku & hubby akan berpuasa di bumi Melbourne ini before kami balik M'sia, InsyaAllah.

Ini juga bermakna sudah 20 hari aku menternak lebihan lemak dan muscles (harap-harapnye) semenjak start bulan puasa ni. I suddenly felt like weighing myself just now because when I got changed before going out earlier suddenly the whole outfit felt ketat!! I noticed my outfit was ketat already yesterday before going to the tutorial, but I thot it was becoz I hadnt gone to the toilet for 2 days.. so naturally buncit la kan. Hahhahaha. And now I remember, most of my outfit dah terasa ketat since last week lagi. Looking at the weighing scale, I realized that I actually have put on a scary 5kg since 20 days back! Huh! I know becoz just before puasa I weighed myself just for fun & that wasnt the number that I saw when I weighed myself again just now. Darn!

The weighing scale is not my best friend since forever, the machine is just there coz senang nak timbang my baggage before flight travelling. Hmmm.. no wonder la I thot my back terasa cam ada 'muscles' je along my spine, padahal jarang gila exercise. Plus, tak tau apsal tetiba pipi nampak cam tembam sket.. I thot coz cukup tido tu la muka nampak full & tak pucat. Then, tetiba teringat hari tu hubby kata I ada double-chin.. and I quickly sed coz I was looking at him tying his shoelaces tu la pasal nampak cam double-chin. Pandang ke arah bawah la katakan. Cheh! And I also noticed that my leher cam menggelebeh je, thot coz I dah tua so kulit cam ala-ala sagging gitu. (Aku ni takde la rajin membelek2 satu badan tengok mana dah naik, mana dah rosak.. unless kalau jerawat.. which is my big NO!... other than 'aging') Salah sangkaanku!

I dunno why I sooo gatal2 updated my status on FB about this.. mebbie coz terkezut tgk nombor yg banyak itu kot. Anyways, when I got back from Chaddy, there were many comments about the controversial status.. mostly thought that there was a bun in the oven!

Okay, okay.. understandably coz our marriage is nearly reaching 2 years & I'm not that young anymore, plus many friends just bersalin. So I think semua orang pun clucky, more than both of me & hubby. Hehehhehee...

Well, I'm not that clucky. While I do want to have my own child one day, I kinda not ready yet, oh well, I dont know if I'm ready yet. Coz, if I say I'm not.. I'm kinda ready. If I say I am.. I feel like I'm not.

Let me set this straight. I'm well known to gain weight during bulan puasa more than any other ordinary months. Except if I'm in Malaysia lah kan. Well, at least this is known to me & those close to me. I think there's a few reasons though.
Pertama skali
... coz aku ni ada fear of being hungry & not able to function without food... ye la, takut migraine.
Selalu kat tpt kerja I'm femes coz slalu makan time kerja.. mostly junks la like chocs & chips. Now bulan puasa mana bleh buat cam tu kalau kerja siang. Therefore during time sahur I will try to eat a well balanced diet with lotsa protein to keep me feel full. First few days tu still lapar tapi lama2 dah biasa. Especially now dah kerja balik, not like last year.. membuta time siang & berjaga time malam.
Kedua... time buka puasa, aku akan makan tak ingat dunia, konon-konon ganti time tak dapat makan siang tadi. Still its a full size meal if to compare with my non-bulan puasa meal which is usually a quater of what hubby usually eats. Hari tu kat spital, bila time buka puasa je aku dgn buruknyer gi melantak ice-cream, chips, chocolates, soda, blablabla dgn lahapnye.. sampai org sekeliling kata aku ni buruk lantak! (Dalam english la kan).
Ketiganye... the food that I eat during both sahur & buka are mostly well-balanced diet.. meaning proper meal, rather than junks like I usually eat otherwise. Alhamdulillah, makanan yg elok2 di bulan Ramadhan yg mulia ini. Hahahhah. So mebbie nutrients tu absorbed well, rather than jadi taik je kan.
Keempat... Sometimes sebelum tido aku ter-makan some junks or sometimes high calorie food.. ye la, just in case tak bangun sahur. Time ni la nak menjamah balik all the snacks that tak dpt makan time siang2 coz puasa.
Kelima... Aku tak pernah miss sahur lagi setakat ni. Kalau terjaga lambat tinggal 10 minit lagi nak imsak pun aku bleh lagi dgn sepenuh tenaganye melantak. Takut lapar la katakan. Hahaha.. so imagine all the input since sahur, buka & moreh/ supper.
Keenamnye...
Minimal output coz my work pun mostly nights & arvo shifts, therefore siang mostly membuta. Nak exercise malas. (Haaaiiii... rugi sungguh my bulan Ramadhan ni...)
Ketujuh...
ntah apsal selera makan aku naik gila babas sejak bulan puasa ni. I think because perut kosong during day time so bila time buka puasa & time berjaga tgh malam tu, pulun abis-abisan.. konon-konon menghargai time makan. Heh! Hmm... seb baik takde pasar Ramadhan setiap hari kat Melbourne ni... huhuhu.. kalau tak...

There banyak sungguh alasan apsal gemuks. Patutnye aku ni jaga-jaga la sket badan nak raya. Ye la, orang lain punya la semangat nak get toned up time puasa menjelang raya ni. Aku lak sebaliknye.. ni semua pasal my fear of hunger. Nafsu.. nafsu.. haaaiii.. harap-harapnye dapat la aku muat baju-baju raya kat rumah tu, even tho baju-baju lama je.. tapi tension la kalau tak muat.. actually lagi tension kalau tak muat baju-baju kerja! Nampaknye aku kena gi beli belly belt la ni even tho belum masanye. Tapi apa nak buat kalau most of my favourite jeans/ pants even tak muat the thighs & bum? Seksanye fikiran ku...

Well, I dont even kno if I'm preggy or not. I havent even tested anything yet. And tak brapa pay attention to my menstrual cycles. Nantilah.. bila terasa nak check nanti, aku akan buat jugak. Its still too early. As for now, I want to enjoy my indulgence first, even though tak brapa bagus. The weighing scale will stay there di celah2 dapur sana like usual, still wont be my best friend... until I feel like jumping on it again next time.. which is I think the time when I feel comfy again in my work clothes.. entah bila la tu.. hahaha...

Selamat berpuasa & enjoy the rest of Ramadhan =)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Tag from Lybeau.. thanks =)

Thanks to Ly for the tag. Kalau ada lagi bleh la saya buat. hehehhee.. see u soon.

1. Anda rasa anda hot?
- Saya memang hot! hahahahahahhaah... sunshine girl la katakan. Dulu 'mentos' girl. Ahaks.

2. Upload gambar kesayangan anda


3. Kenapa anda suka gambar ini?
- Sebab saya sukakan laut & alam semulajadi. Love it! This one's taken during our recent 2nd honeymoon in PD. The ones kat Tioman Island, during our 1st honeymoon, byk sgt yg terlalu cun, so pilih yg ni je.

4. Bila kali terakhir anda makan pizza??
- Kelmarin, hubby tapau from Ly's buka puasa. Thanks Ly. Sedap. I makan buka puasa kat spital.

5. Lagu terakhir anda dengar??
- Into The Sun by Lifehouse

6. Apakah yang anda buat sambil selesaikan tag ini??
- Baca cerpen kat blog Penulisan tu. Best. Sambil2 lipat kain yg melambak2 tu.

7. Selain dari nama anda sendiri, anda suka di panggil??
- Your Highness! Hahhahahahaha takde la joking. Just call me by my name (utk org2 yg selain dp family)

8. Tag lagi 6 orang dengan senang hati..hehehehe
Takde ramai sgt nak tag coz blog ni not for many ppl to read.
1. TTM
2. Dr. D
3. Che Det.. boleh? ;)
4. Am
5. Adikku H3
6. Ahmad Fairuz

*** siapa no1 kepada anda??
My buddy's cousin's wife. A lucky lady that makes everyone feels lucky to have her in their lives. I tau dia tak buat lagi tag ni ;) heheheheheheh.

***bagaimana pula no3??
Yang sangat berhormat PM M'sia ke-4. He is amazing. Malaysia was once lucky to have him as our great leader. Semoga Allah swt memberkati kami semua. Amiin.

**pendapat anda pada angka 4?
;) The greates man in the world, after my dad. Tak tau la dia nak buat ke tak.

***kata sesuatu tentang orang no 2??
=D mak buyung yg dah tak brapa buyung kot. Mebbie dia masih penat. Takpe, bila2. Take care dude.

***kata sesuattu tentang orang no 6??
Am's buddy. Cant say much coz dont really kno him much, but I kno he's a good person by heart, kalau tak cam mana Am bleh kawan dgn dia kan? Ni pon tak tau la kalau dia nak buat ke tak. hahahah.. saja je tag.

*** kata sesuattu tentang orang no 5??
Adik aku yg bertuah sorang ni. Enuf sed. Tak tau la dia nak buat ke tak. Tak tau la dia even baca my blog or not. Hahahahahha.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Day 15th Ramadhan 1430H

Hari ini hari yg ke-15 kita semua berpuasa. Aku baru abis solat Subuh. Tgh get ready nak tido balik. Jap lagi kerja start kol 2pm abis kol 12am. Sama dgn esok & Monday. Then cuti beberapa hari, pas tu kerja malam for the weekends. Ok la tu, kalau night shifts kerja start kol 11pm, so ptg tu akan sempat kuar makan ke, masak utk buka ke. And boleh makan sambil kerja, until sahur.
Malam ni plak ada buka puasa kat rumah Ly. Aku tak dpt pergi coz of work, but hubby will represent me =( Dah la last week tak dpt join. Same with this week.
My youngest brother's UPSR starts Monday. I really hope that he's prepared enough to get excellent results. Hopefully he goes throught the exams very well. Amiin. InsyaAllah.

This is the full moon that I could see from my kitchen window.
Hmmm... apa-apa pun terasa aman je di bulan puasa yg indah ni. Alhamdulillah. Semoga all of us stay strong to face the rest of Ramadhan. InsyaAllah. Sejuks & nyaman. Sedap kalau berselubung dllm katil until tengah hari =)

Friday, September 04, 2009

Salam bahagia =) 2wks & a bit more

Alhamdulillah, hari ni dah masuk hari ke-14 umat Islam di bumi Melbourne (and most of the others around the world termasuklah bumi asalku Malaysia). Alhamdulillah hari-hari berpuasa go on without much challenges. As for me, the reborn me (hehheheh) terasa lebih tenang & bahagia, ala-ala perjalanan mencari diri sendiri & kehidupan, chewah. Jiwa pon aman je, tak bergelora & sesak like alwiz.

Lotsa things happened in the past week since I last left my trail here:

- My buddy, Dr D, telah selamat melahirkan sorang bayi perempuan yg sangat comel (blom tengok lagi, but I'm sure she is) pada pagi Sabtu lepas. Kiranye hari ni ialah day 7 for baby A. Congratulations to both parents, Dr D & Dr S, and also for the whole family, for the arrival of the little precious baby A. To baby A, welcome to world. Your arrival has very much brightened the world of ur parents & the world even more.

- Dr MJ's birthday was on the same day, last Saturday. Simple but joyful celebration in the city with some friends as well. Happy 27th, Dr MJ. Di malam yg sama ada buka puasa di rumah Mr I & majlis harijadi Dr NY. Tak dpt pergilah coz dah gi dinner dgn Dr MJ.
Melepak buang masa kat Melb Central & Myer
sementara tunggu time dinner Dr MJ.

A tea glass from the diner Mecca Bah, Docklands


- Hari Merdeka yg ke-52 buat negaraku Malaysia. I'm sure my family, especially my abah, dah kibarkan bendera Jalur Gemilang weeks ago at home. Patriotiknye family aku ni. Biar apa pun perkara buruk yang dikata orang dari dalam atau luar negara, Malaysia tetap tanahairku yg tercinta. Aku akan tetap kembali ke Malaysia for good satu hari nanti. And aku bangga jadi rakyat Malaysia, wont ever give up my citizenship. 1Malaysia =)

- Bought the ticket for raya for both of us. Unfortunately we wont be travelling together as well coz tak cukup seat & hubby kena balik semula ke Melbourne lepas seminggu raya coz ada kerja. While me, dpt cuti 3 minggu, lepas berhempas pulas men'swap' shifts dgn rakan sekerja. Ada ke patut aku apply cuti sabtu tu, diorang dgn bangangnye bubuh aku kerja that sabtu then kerja sehari hari isnin lepas balik sini pas tu cuti berhari2. Bodo.

- Kejadian both of a colleague & I got yelled at on the fon by a bitchy & rude oncology reg on-call, on separate occasions masa kerja this week. Bodo nyer orang, macam dia bagus sgt je. Mentang2 la darjat tinggi sket je dp kitorang.

- Made some laksa Kedah last night coz teringin. Aku rasa sedap sket dp yg sebelum ni aku buat. Ye la, pratice makes perfect kan. Even tho kurang perfect lagi tu, tak kisahlah, asalkan sedap di mulut & perut kami. Nyuuumm. Last week made some ketupat segera, masak lodeh, kuah kacang & serunding udang. Teruja coz jumpa ketupat segera Nona kat BH Centro last week. Serunding udang je yg tinggal coz memang masak byk utk masa2 terdesak takde lauk. Sedapz gila.
This is the serunding udang kering.
Resepi Mat Gebu & combination of majalah resepi Raya lama.

- Had my morning walk yesterday after doing some weeding kat backyard for my beloved pokok2 sayur. Menyegarkan. Spring is beautiful. The flowers start to bloom, nyanyian indah burung2 pagi & petang, butterflies berterbangan (also bees & other uninvited insects), udara yg nyaman dan matahari yg memancar indah. Bahagia sungguh.
Pokok bunga ala-ala sakura depan rumah.
Pink flower version.

Pencawang letrik yg indah seberang jalan nun.


Pokok 'sakura' ni last week, still hampir togel lagi.
This week dah tumbuh bunga putih. Cantik!

Jambatan sama yg menyeberangi M1.

Penuh gila M1 heading into the city...
actually selalu lagi penuh dp ni in & out

Another walking trail I discovered that morning.
Klik sini.. nampak tak menda terbang tu?

Apa-apa pun nampak cantik with the soft sunlight shining on them
... including this pokok.

Eh.. ada pokok cactus gak? Besar plak tu.

Jalan ni banyak bunga.. lebah2 pon banyak. Yikes!


Ni antara pokok2 yg masih togel,
tapi biji2nye sedang bercambah.

Pokok 'sakura', version white flowers.

Penuhnye M1.. merangkak2 nak gi kerja.


- My cravings for chocolates made my buy lotsa chocs from K-Mart. 3 tubs of M&Ms peanut, M&Ms plain choc & Maltesers (1 each la), dan some more bags of chocolates. Gila. I always have cravings since forever, and this time untuk ke sekian kalinye ialah chocolates... and ice cream. Dalam freezer ada 2 tubs besar icecream. Oh ye, bought another cookie cake from Mrs Fields again (kali ke-4 untuk tahun ni).. Yeeaaahhhaaaaaa.. best gila.
The Choc Lover, single layer cookie cake.

- Went to see Up 3D last night with dear hubby. Best gila, menyentuh perasaan. Tak rugi aku bazirkan sikit more than the already mahal regular tix last night. Walaupon aku ada gak tertido for a few minutes in there (mebbie coz byk sgt carbon dioxide emission coz penuh gila manusia dlm tu) tapi aku still suka the movie. Recommended.
Our 3D glasses & the tickets.

The movie that we saw.


There. Perjalanan minggu ini yg penuh dgn adventure & fun. Til then. Selamat menyambung puasa di bulan Ramadhan ini & selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri (tak sabarnye nak raya dgn family thn ni... this time raya will be complete, insyaAllah).
Malam tadi bulan mengambang penuh... cantik!


Hmm... terasa nak lelap jap.. tataaa
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